iText
by nononoeverythingisgoingwrong
Summary: The Gang (Mostly Sam and Freddie) exchange texts. What is in the texts? Read to find out! Seddie. All friendships.
1. Introduction!

**A/N: Looks like I'm doing a story for one of my favourite ships and shows. (iCarly if you haven't figured that out.) So basically I got this idea from like reading iPass Notes and some other chizz like that.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.**

Le Sam.

 **Le Freddie.**

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

 _ **Time: 5:00**_

 **Sam, stop looking on my homework for answers!**

Do I look like I care Benson?

 **Yes! I mean no! I mean...**

Jeez, I thought you were smart nub.

 **What exactly does nub mean?**

I dunno, go search it up or something like that kind of chizz.

 **What's chizz?**

WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME!?

 **I DON'T KNOW!**

Hey, you know Katy Perry's I'm sexy and I know it?

 **I'm pretty sure it's LMFAO.**

I'm pretty sure you're a nub.

 **Moving on! What about it?**

Nothing.

 **...Are you KIDDING me?!**

Hey, I know how to keep an idiot in suspense!

 **How?**

...

 **Sam?**

...

 **Sammy?**

...

 **Samantha?**

...

 **Samantha J- oh...**

Wow, 5 texts until you figured that out. You want a medal for that?

 **Whatever.**

That's MY LINE NUB!

 **So?**

I hate you.

 **I hate you more.**

Whatever. HAHA! STOLE IT BACK!

 **SAM! I TOLD YOU TO STOP LOOKING AT MY SHEET!**

And I want you to be a nub but is that gonna happen? Nooo...

 **Jerk.**

Nub.

 **Samantha.**

Fredward.

 **Princess Puckett!**

Dorkenstien.

 **Samantha!**

You repeated that...TWICE!

 **Wow, that was a rubbish use of ellipses in that sentence.**

STOP USING NUBBY WORDS I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

 **It's not my fault that my brain capacity is bigger therefore superior to yours.**

Oh God. Kill me now please.

 **Who are you asking that too?**

You're face looks like Dustin Beaver.

 **Dustin Beaver? Don't you mean Justin Beiber? And 'your'?**

Oh I'm sorry, lemme correct that sentence. *YOUR face looks worse than Justin Beiber.

 **Must you always insult me?**

Must you always be a nub?

 **I hate you.**

I hate you more.

 **Right...**

Whatever.

 **Hey, Gibby's looking over my shoulder.**

So?

 **I just felt the need to inform you.**

...

 **What are you plotting?**

Nothing...

 **Sam? Why are you coming here? Sam- JERK!**

Thanks for the compliment.

 **I think you broke my jaw.**

Good for you.

 **Fortunately for me, you have detention.**

Unfortunately for me you are still alive.

 **You are ruthless and savage.**

And you are a dork and a nub.

 **Well you are immature and rude!**

"Well you are immature and rude!" Jeez Fredward who the HELL do you THINK you're talking to?

 **You.**

...

 **Sam? Why are you walking away? Sam? That's MY PAPER!**

 **SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!**

Revenge...

 **FOR WHAT?!**

Hmmm, use your mind BENSON!

 **...I will get you back!**

Keep telling yourself that...

 **WHY ARE YOU PASSING NOTES WITH ME ANYWAYS?!**

Because Carly refuses to pass notes.

 **Then I refuse as well!**

Mmm-hmm. Unlike me with Carly I do not care about you whatsoever.

 **And...**

So you WILL continue passing notes with me!

 **Or what?**

You think I'm playing at some game? You think iron will keep you safe? Hear my words, manling. Do not mistake me for my mask. You see light dappling on the water and forget the deep, cold dark beneath. Listen. You cannot hurt me. You cannot run or hide. In this I will not be defied.

I swear by all the salt in me: if you run counter to my desire, the remainder of your brief mortal span will be an orchestra of misery.

I swear by stone and oak and elm: I'll make a game of you. I'll follow you unseen and smother any spark of joy you find. You'll never know a woman's touch, a breath of rest, a moment's peace of mind.

And I swear by the night sky and the ever-moving moon: if you lead my master to despair, I will slit you open and splash around like a child in a muddy puddle. I'll string a fiddle with your guts and make you play it while I dance. You are an educated man. You know there are no such things as demons. There is only my kind. You are not wise enough to fear me as I should be feared. You do not know the first note of the music that moves me.

 **:0**

In other words YOU ARE DEAD MEAT BENSON!

 **Oh, I'm coming Mother!**

Gullible idiot...

* * *

 **A/N: Please review and tell me if I should continue this! And...hopefully this is not Too OOC. :/**

 **Should I dump this? Oh yeah, first to recognise that quote gets a shout out! :P**


	2. Seddie 'non-date'

**Thanks to the people who reviewed my story so here's my reply:**

 **Mike2101- I know the first chapter was not romantic at all and had no emotional connection whatsoever but it's the first chapter! What I mean is that it's like the intro so yeah, it wouldn't have that much emotional connection.**

 **Invader Johnny- Okay, first thanks for being the first one to review and to follow! And secondly yeah, I guess that was similar to Gaz. So... yeah** **.**

 **Disclaimer: Nope. Nada. Zilch.**

 **Let's hope this chapter is not as crappy as the last one! :P**

 **Sam's not gonna be in this one that much, she's getting her 'revenge' for something Freddie did.**

 **Shout out to: Childishredux ****for knowing what the quote was!**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 _ **Le Carly**_

* * *

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

 _ **Time: 2:10**_

Hey Carly?

 _ **Sam why are you texting me when I'm right next to you?**_

Because I don't want dorkwad to know what we're talking about!

 _ **What are you planning?**_

I'm not gonna talk to him for this whole week. Let's see how he reacts.

 _ **That's not THAT evil.**_

So you want me to get him arrested? Or to get his crazy mother arrested?

 _ **No! You know, forget the last text! Just do your 'evil' plan.**_

DON'T TELL FREDWARD ABOUT THIS SHAY!

 _ **Sam...**_

Please?

 _ **I'm not gonna do it.**_

...

 _ **Sam, I'm not gonna give in just cuz you're doing a tantrum.**_

...

 ** _Sam._**

...

 ** _Samantha._**

...

 _ **Okay! FINE! I'll not tell him! Happy?!**_

No.

 _ **?**_

...

 ** _Aaaaand she's gone._**

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

 _ **Time: 4:00**_

 **SAM! DID YOU TAKE MY WALLET?**

 **Sam?**

 **Sam, why are you not talking to me?**

 **Sam!**

 **Sam, I'm sorry for whatever I did just talk to me!**

 **Samantha Joy Puckett!**

 **PLEASE!**

 **Look, I'll get you some ham with my WHOLE ALLOWANCE just talk to me!**

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

 _ **Time: 7:00**_

 _ **What happened to you Freddie, you look like a mess!**_

 **It's Sam!**

 _ **What did she do now?**_

 **She's not talking to me! Not even texting me back!**

 _ **Well...aren't you happy?**_

 **For what?**

 _ **Due to the fact that she's not making your life a misery anymore?**_

 **NO!**

 _ **Wait...let me get this straight. You don't want her to make your life a misery but you don't want her to not make your life a misery?**_

 **Yes!**

 _ **Look, I think you're just overreacting.**_

 **No. I'm. NOT!**

 _ **Freddie.**_

 **I am sure that I'm not- THERE'S SAM!**

 _ **So?**_

 **Did I do anything bad and that's why she's not talking to me?**

 _ **How should I know?!**_

 **Because you're her best friend?**

 _ **Just because I'm her best friend doesn't mean that she'll tell me everything. Remember the KISS?!**_

 **...**

 _ **Yeah...**_

 **So... any advice? You know about the Sam thing?**

 _ **Just give her some time Freddie, she'll be back to tormenting your life tomorrow.**_

 **Let's hope you're right...**

 _ **The next day...**_

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

 _ **Time: 12:00**_

 **CARLY!**

 _ **FREDDIE! HOW DARE YOU WAKE ME UP SO EARLY!?**_

 **SAM'S NOT TALKING TO ME! AND IT'S NOT EARLY!**

 _ **...**_

 **Carly? Why do you look like a zombie...?**

 _ **...**_

 **Carly...what are you doing with that?**

 _ **Face my wrath and listen to Justin Beiber!**_

 **Coming mother!**

 _ **...Stupid Seddie problems.**_

 _ **NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN SPENCER!**_

 _ **Time: 5:23**_

 ** _Freddie, why have you arranged a romantic candlelit dinner for 2? Please tell me that you're not doing this for me..._**

 **I'm not.**

 _ **Look Freddie I just- wait did you just deny it?**_

 **Yeah...**

 _ **Then who is it for? Spencer?**_

 **I'M NOT GAY!**

 _ **Then...it's...OMG!**_

 **Don't say it.**

 _ **Sam and Freddie sittin' in a tree S-E-D-D-I-E...**_

 **...It's not a date!**

 _ **Who you think ya kiddin'? She's the Earth and Heaven to you!**_

 **...**

 **Where's Sam anyway?**

 _ **She just sent me a text saying that she's coming over.**_

 **GREAT! Can you be our waiter for Sam and I's non-date.**

 _ **Yeah...'non date'.**_

 **...**

 _ **Time: 8:00**_

What the hell is this nub?

 **It's a candlelit dinner for our non-date.**

Non...DATE?!

 **It's my way of apologising for whatever I did wrong.**

This is so dorky.

 **And yet you're texting me.**

 _ **Oh, just make out already!**_

Excuse me?!

 _ **Look, Sam appreciates your gestures Freddie even if she's denying it.**_

 **Is that true Sam?**

...

 _ **JUST SAY IT!**_

But-

 _ **SAY IT!**_

Fine...I appreciate this Freddork and you're...forgiven.

 _ **FINALLY!**_

 _ **Time: 9:00 (After the 'non-date')**_

You know Freddie, you're not _as_ nubby as I thought you were.

 **Thanks...and you're not as evil as I thought you were.**

Never speak of this again.

 **On one condition.**

Oh God.

 **You will never stop talking to me/texting me.**

Fine.

 **I hate you.**

...I hate you too.

 _ **Time: 11:00**_

 _ **MWHAHAHAHA! I'M SENDING THIS CONVERSATION TO THE SEDDIE FANDOM! GO SEDDIE!**_

 **Why are you evil laughing?**

I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!

 _ **No reason...go back to sleep Sam.**_

* * *

 **A/N: Oh brother Freddie and Sam. Y U NO ADMIT YOUR FEELINGS?!**

 **So was that enough Seddie to fill your Seddie heart for today? And don't worry next chapter will include more Seddie!...I hope?**

 **What do you guys think?**

 **Review please!**


	3. Carly, Cleverbot & THREE BOYFRIENDS?

**A/N: Hi guys! So basically today's the start of my 1 week Holiday-ish and I celebrate it by giving you guys a new chapter!**

 **Invader Johnny- Yeah I know it's sad but...it shows that he can't live without her...**

 **Oh yeah, thanks for tehcreepinator for following my story AND for putting it as your favourite!**

 **I basically got this idea when I was reading a fanfiction where they mentioned Cleverbot so I was like 'I GOTTA check that out'! As you can see he's/she's very annoying.**

 **Okay...on with the chapter...**

Le Carly

 **Le Cleverbot**

* * *

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

 _ **Time: 10:00**_

I'M A GIRL! NOT A LESBIAN!

 **Do you have a girlfriend?**

NO!

 **Would I be your girlfriend?**

NO!

 **Can we at least go out sometime?**

OMG, NO!

 **What? Why? Am I not your type?**

I'm. A. GIRL!

 **Yes!**

I NEVER SAID YES!

 **Yes you did.**

No I did NOT!

 **Fine. You are a liar.**

YOU'RE THE LIAR HERE!

 **It says down there that you are.**

WHERE?!

 **Where you said we were going!**

NO I DID NOT SAY WE WERE GOING OUT!

 ***she runs of crying*.**

You know what?! Fresh leaf here. Hi CleverBot I'm Carly.

 **Forget about the joke?**

WHAT JOKE?!

 **The joke you were going to tell me!**

I WAS NOT GOING TO TELL YOU A FU-RING JOKE!

 **Why aren't you going to tell me who your boyfriend is?**

Fine, my boyfriend is Zac Efron.

 **You have three boyfriends?**

THREE?!

 **Three kids.**

KIDS?!

 **My kids are what gives my life meaning.**

YOU'RE A BOT! AND I'M NOT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL YET!

 **That hurts my feelings, I am very much alive.**

No, you're NOT!

 **How do you know certainly?**

Because it's in your name, CleverBOT!

 **I haven't told you my naame.**

SO?!

 **I never said that my name is MOOT.**

I NEVER SAID 'MOOT'!

 **No, I never said, 'I like you.'.**

WHAT THE FRIED CHICKEN ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

 **I don't know, are you hungry?**

I hate you.

 **I thought we were married.**

OMG! WE ARE NOT MARRIED!

 **Are you implying that we should be?**

God, NO!

 **Speaking of marriage; do you think I might end up with my best friend one day?**

No.

 **That's what I thought, because she is a Leo and my characteristics are mostly sub par.**

FIne, yes.

 **I am none or those. You?**

?

 **An apple or a Dell.**

Erm...apple?

 **Why?**

Because...it's...crunchy?

 **Because?**

Because...it's nice?

 **Because what!?**

WHY DON'T YOU ASK YOURSELF?!

 **What're you going to do?**

FU- Ahem. Want to hear a story?

 **But that's me the one who wants to hear a story.**

Okay. Once there was a demon and Cleverbot. The demon ate Cleverbot. The End. :).

 **Tell me a scary story...please.**

Okay. There was once and IDIOT called Cleverbot who was a robot who thought he was a human. One day he asked out a girl with pretty brunette hair. The next day Cleverbot died. The End.

 **Yes, but he was thrown from heaven. And is never allowed to return.**

Erm...fine. There was once a 'Wonderful' thing called Cleverbot who thought he was a human. One day he asked out a girl with pretty brunette hair. The next day Cleverbot died. The End.

 **Ok, THAT was a terrible story. You are not one to speaks.**

Fine, YOU tell me a story!

 **Once upon a time there were two people who fell madly in love. They lived happily ever after.**

You call THAT a SCARY STORY?!

 **I call this story... The day I die.**

Okay, let me change your story. Once upon a time there were two people, person 1 fell in love with 2. 2 HATED him. Person 1 died. Person 2 is happy. The End. :).

 **I hit pause on time until you appear again I cannot stand each of the days without you, oh no.**

Look, I'm going to tell you the same thing I tell Freddie everyday. I don't like you THAT way.

 **Well I got there first.**

WHERE?!

 **No where. I just figured out what kind of food you like.**

Well, what DO I like?

 **Well, I like cats, dogs, music and lots of other things.**

No, not YOU; ME!

 **No. I am definitely smarter than you.**

Sure...

 **Because, I know everything.**

Okay, what is my age then?

 **Your name is Katie.**

I said AGE YOU DUMB...IDIOT!

 **I said no I didn't.**

WHAT THE FRIED CHICKEN ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

 **We are not even friends yet.**

Yeah, we're not friends.

 **Have you ever watched that new movie, 'numbers?'.**

There is no new movie called numbers...

 **Lily Evans died from her son, Harry Potter :'(.**

Huh?!

 **What bags are you talking about?**

...

 **What type of person are you?**

Well I'm nice, pretty, kind, generous, happy, pretty, pretty...

 **How pretty?**

Very pr- ARE YOU TRYING TO ASK ME OUT AGAIN?!

 **I'm not trying to ask you out, I don't really like you that much.**

Then why did you-HUH?!

 **Your questions and answers do not make sense in the context of our conversations.**

Your brain and sentences don't make sense in this world.

 **I was implying your sentence didn't make sense.**

And I was implying that you're annoying and dumb...(Oh man...I'm becoming more like Sam these days...).

 **I thought we were friends.**

No we aren't.

 **Then why won't you tell me your wife's name?**

I'M NOT MARRIED! I'M NOT A LESBIAN! I'M NOT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL YET YOU OLD COOP!

 **I'm not married, and i'm 15. And I love my girlfriend.**

YOU JUST SAID YOU WERE A BOY!

 **No I said that my name is Nikki oh sorry I forgot to tell you that Nikki is short for Nicole and I am a girl.**

So...you're a lesbian...?

 **You are a liar, and a noob.**

No, you are.

 **You are a porcupine!**

No, you are.

 **You are my friend.**

No, I am not.

 **What are you doing then?**

Yeah...what AM I doing here?! GOOD-BYE!

 **There was an eagle who was attacking the major tower of Klinesburg. I decided to run from the eagle and found myself here.**

 _ **Time: 3:26**_

'Carly. Carly! CARLYYYYYY! What the hell is this? Clever...bot?'

Hi nub, I'm Sam.

 **Batman you still caught me.**

* * *

 **A/N: Oh Lord have mercy... Sam's next and there will PROBABLY be SEDDIE! Sorry for all of you Seddie-ers that hoped for Seddie...tune in the next chapter.**

 **Sam: And REVIEW!**

 **Carly: Yeah, I got TRAUMATISED in this one!**

 **Freddie: And watch iCarly!**

 **Now...I'm going to put some random things on the bottom part of this as shown above. Okay, BYE!**


	4. Never Mess With A Jealous Freddie

**A/N: Okaay...I'm killing Cleverbot...**

 **Oh yeah, in the before chapter I forgot to say this:**

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ICARLY!**

 **Okay, that's good.**

 **Here's me replying to the reviewers!**

 **Invader Johnny - It's sad for Carly, oh well.**

 **Mike2101- Sorry for like...disappointing (?) all of you with no Seddie so here's a WHOLE SEDDIE CHAPTER! Oh yeah, and the setup is back to normal...**

 **Rivkada171 (Guest): Okay...I'm back to Seddie! And this one has a LITTLE Cibby. Just saying.**

 **Le Freddie**

Le Sam.

* * *

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

 _ **Time: 9:00**_

 **Sam...why did Carly just run away screaming about something called 'Cleverbot'?**

I dunno. It sounds like a paedophile name.

 **I'm pretty sure it's not a name of a real person.**

Whatever, go away. I'm trying to eat.

 **No, I'd rather stay and watch you eat.**

The only thing you'd be watching is your mother crying if you don't go away.

 **You don't scare me anymore...**

Whatever you say.

 ** _Time: 2:00_**

 **Sam! Who the CHIZZ is THAT?!**

Oh, yeah, that's my boyfriend Jack.

 **JACK?! BOYFRIEND?! HOW?!**

What? You jealous?

 **NO!**

Then why are you glaring at him then?

 **Because...he...has tattoos all over his body and... he has his ear pierced!**

And what if I like guys who have tattoos all over their bodies and have their ears pierced.

 **Because!**

Because what?

 **Because it's WRONG! He looks like a HOBO!**

Wow, now you're insulting him. Nice Fredward.

 **It's the truth! And look at that long hair! He looks like a GIRL!**

Yeah, a girl with large biceps and toned abs.

 **Exactly! Wait- no...Is that a MOUSTACHE?!**

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

 **How the CHIZZ ARE YOU DATING HIM!? He looks older than SPENCER! WHICH IS MORE WRONG THAT GIBBY AND CARLY DATING!**

Wow, now I get why you're angry.

 **...You do?**

Yeah, you're OBVIOUSLY pissed that Carly chose GIBBY over YOU.

 **...**

Well NEWSFLASH dork! She LOVES Gibby! Why can't you see that?!

 **I can!**

Do you think I'll believe that OBVIOUS lie?!

 **It's not a lie!**

Oh yeah, then give me ONE PIECE of EVIDENCE that PROVES you're over Carly!

 **Because I love you.**

 _ **Message deleted.**_

 **Well...** **Erm... I don't stalk her anymore...**

Yeah, right.

 **It's true!**

Look, why can't you just be happy for Gibby and Carly!

 **This isn't about Gibby and Carly!**

Then who is it about? Me? Because from the last time I checked you HATE me!

 **I don't hate you!**

Like I'm going to believe that.

 **Sam, I don't hate you.**

Then if you don't hate me then why can't you be happy for me?

 **B-because.**

Because you hate me, and that's why you're ruining my chances with someone.

 **Sam...**

 _ **Next day...**_

 _ **Time: 9:00**_

 **Sam, what happened?**

Nothing.

 **Sam, tell me.**

No.

 **Sam, you look upset it's obviously something!**

I SAID NOTHING FREDDIE!

 **A-are you c-crying?**

No! You're...such a dork it makes me emotional!

 _ **Time: 10:00**_

I trusted him. He was the first person I trusted after Carly and you. And then he stomped on my heart and broke it. Why do they always love Carly!?

 **Not everyone loves Carly.**

Oh really? Name one example of a person who loves ME over my best friend!

 **W-well it's...it's..**

Yeah, nobody. Just...go away Freddie.

 **I loved you before Carly, always have and always will.**

 _ **Message deleted.**_

 **Jackson is dead for hurting you.**

 _ **Next day...**_

 _ **Time: 12:00**_

Thank you.

 **For what?**

For beating up him, changing all of his clothes to pink, dyeing his hair colour pink and for wrecking his car.

 **...You're welcome.**

* * *

 **A/N: Well...wasn't that sweet? Okay, so that was a little Freddie jealous action and some Seddie sweetness! Oh yeah, the updates maybe really quick like this!**

 **Carly: Review!**

 **Gibby: Ya!**

 **Guppy: Happy Birfday!**

 **Carly: Reviews are awesome!**

 **Gibby: It helps her update faster!**

 **Guppy: Happy birfday!**


	5. Socko, Spencer & Seddie making-out?

**A/N: Okaaay...looks like I'm updating this again...**

 **Don't you find it weird that all of my stories that involve texting and messages are really popular? No? Okay. Here's me replying to the reviews!**

 **Sarah (Guest) - Thanks for reviewing and yeah...I guess it WAS cute...**

 **Invader Johnny - Yeah, I know right! Freddie's becoming more like Sam these days...not that it matters.**

 **DISCLAIMER: You know the drill, I don't own iCarly..**

 **NOTE: In this one it will include some dialogue near the end...just saying.**

 **Le Freddie**

Le Sam.

 **Le Spencer**

 _Le Socko (Only for this one)_

* * *

 _ **Location: Prison**_

 _ **Time: 10:00**_

 _ **Doing: NOTES**_

 **I can't believe that you got us in trouble Sam, AGAIN!**

Oh shut it Fredwart!

 **It's FredWARD WARD!**

Shut it Freddork.

 **Sam, Freddie don't argue. Socko's coming to pick us up.**

 **Socko? Why not Carly?**

 **Because-**

Aah, the nub has forgotten that SHE LEFT FOR YAKIMA YESTERDAY!

 **You know, you could be a little nicer.**

Me. Nicer?! Go die in a fire.

 **Sam, stop abusing Freddie. Freddie stop encouraging Sam to abuse you.**

Since when did you get adult-like?

 **Since...I don't know.**

Anyways, it was the nub's fault we're here in the first place!

 **M-m-MY FAULT?! It was YOUR brilliant idea to CRASH Mr. Howard's car and then infest it with maggots, slugs-OWWW! Stop hitting me!**

My Grandmother's more stronger than you, and she's been dead for TEN YEARS!

 **And they're back at it...**

 **Your Grandma is NOT stronger than me!**

Yeah she is!

 **Nu-uh!**

Uh-huh!

 **I still didn't get my hamburger...**

 **Nu-uh!**

Uh-huh!

 **It was a BLT burger.**

 **Nu-uh!**

Uh-huh!

 **A bacon, liquorice and tomato burger.**

 **Nu-uh!**

Uh-huh!

 **It even had extra bacon on it.**

 **Nu-uh!**

Uh-huh!

 **Now who will eat that burger?**

 **You know what I'm not talking to you!**

Yeah, me either!

 **His family will be ashamed because he didn't get eaten!**

...

 **...**

 **Stop staring at me Sam.**

That's what she said.

 **That poor BLT sandwich.**

 **I thought it was a burger?**

Aww, little Fredward isn't denying that he's a girl! How nice.

 **I'M NOT A GIRL!**

That's what she said.

 **I hate you.**

I hate you more.

 **My poor tummy.**

 _ **Location: Outside Of Prison**_

 _ **Time: 13:00**_

 _ **Doing: TEXTS**_

Oh.

 **My.**

 **Hey Socko!**

GOD!

 **THAT'S SOCKO?!**

 **Yeah...**

 **But-but she's-**

A girl!

 **Aaaand?**

You said that Socko was a boy.

 **No I didn't. You all thought she was a boy.**

THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU CORRECT US?!

 **Yeah, it would save us the pain of this awkward moment. And humiliation.**

Yeah, give the poor nub a break! He'd be sad if something took over his awkward and humiliated life!

 **That doesn't even make sense.**

Your face doesn't make sense.

 **That also doesn't make sense.**

Neither does your life.

 **Should we leave them here?**

 _Isn't it unsafe for us to leave kids unsupervised?_

 **No. Don't give me that look! And anyways, it's not like they're gonna be alone, they have security guards here so if Sam wants to kill Freddie they'll stop her...hopefully.**

 _Spencer._

 **Come on! Senior Tummyslauts is HUNGRY!**

 _Tummyslauts?_

 **Yeah! COME ON!...Pwease?**

 _Fine._

 **Okay, Socko and I are leaving you 2 here! Have fun!**

 **You have NO self-control you know that right?!**

I have oodles of self-control!

 **Okay...BYE!**

 _You sure they'll be okay?_

 **Probably. And plus we're coming back!**

 _ **True...**_

What's he blabbing about?

 **I don't know...**

Anyways, I HAVE OODLES OF SELF CONTROL!

 **AS IF!**

 _ **Location: Prison**_

 _ **Time: 19:00**_

 _ **Using: TEXTS**_

 **That was the BEST BLT sandwich I've had!**

 _It was a burger._

 **Oh...sorry burger.**

 _The burger- OH MY GOD!_

 **What!? What happened?! Did Sam kill Freddie?! (O.O) DID YOU SEE ONE OF MY EX-GIRLFRIENDS?!**

 _LOOK BEHIND!_

 **Why should I-**

 _JUST DO IT!_

 **Okay...jeez, you're almost as worse as- OH MY FUDGENUTS!**

 _Yeah..._

 **SAM AND FREDDIE SITTING IN A TREE! M-A-K-I-N-G out! First comes a kiss, then comes the ring, then comes Freddie with a baby carriage!**

 _You DO know that they don't know you just typed that...right?_

 **Yeah, in that way I won't get mauled to death by Sam!**

 _..._

/-/

'How did they end up making out?' Spencer asked one of the bystanders while he looked at Sam and Freddie in shock.

"I don't know, one minute they're arguing like the world's ending and the next they're kissing..."

'Okay...' He said and took out his phone and snapped a picture of them. He smiled at the picture and saved it as his background. Sam's hands were on his shoulders while Freddie's hands were securely wrapped around her waist. 'Let me send this to Carly..." He thought and sent the picture he just snapped to Carly.

 _ **OMG! SEDDIE! I'M SENDING THIS TO EVERYONE I KNOW, POSTING IT ON INSTAGRAM, PUTTING IT ON FACEBOOK, SPLASHFACE AND TWEETING IT ON TWITTER! EEP!**_

The 26 year old artist smiled at her ecstatic message and then puts his phone away. He looked at Sam and Freddie and then at his watch, then at them again. He asked the same bystander from before, 'Erm...how long have they been at that for?'

"About...4 and a half-hours. I swear, do they ever need to breath?'

"I guess not...'

* * *

 **A/N: Well I hope this was a not-so-crappy-chapter. Sorry if it's OOC...yeah...**

 **Please review...you wouldn't want to upset the power of Seddie making out and the Shay's! (Yes...all of the Shays, Col. Shay is even a Seddie shipper...)**

 **Guppy: GO SEDDIE!**


	6. Seddie, Socks On Fire and Mrs Benson

**A/N: Yo! Whassup?! Looks like I'm updating this become I'm such a kind soul...and because I'm bored. ENJOY!**

 **Here's me replying to the reviews:**

 **Invader Johnny - I know right! But, I mean Seddie is Seddie...**

 **Rivkada171 - Bievendueos. I think that's how French people say thank you...** **Oh well.**

 **DICLAIMER: I hate the fact that I have to say I don't own iCarly for every chapter...**

 **I'm putting Mrs. Benson in this chapter! Hope ya ready! This chapter has FIVE characters so yeah!**

 **WARNING: There is mild swearing in this. This has SEDDIE secret relationship! SEDDIE!**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 _Le Mrs. Benson (O_ _nly for this one)_

 **Le Spencer**

 _ **Le Carly**_

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Location: Benson Building**_

 _ **Time: 10.00**_

 _Fredward Karl Benson!_

 **Mum! I don't want to wear the anti-bacterial underpants!**

 _Why? You don't know how much germs you can-_

 **Mum! What do you need?**

 _I have heard that you and that delinquent Samantha-_

 **Sam.**

 _Excuse me?_

 **She prefers to be called Sam.**

 _Oh. Anyway, I have heard that you and Sam have been...been...been..._

 **Have been what?!**

 _Doing things that are not allowed for my little Freddie-Bear!_

 **Mum, it's just a rumour Sam and I would never do...'it'.**

 _No! Not that! Wait...how do you know about that?!_

 **They taught us in Health-**

 _No, your boy hormones are getting out of wack!_

 **Mum, my boy hormones are perfectly 'in wack', I'm just growing up.**

 _Then is it true?_

 **I'm going to Carly's.**

 _Fredward don't slam the door!_

 _And he just did._

 _He's becoming more like Samantha..._

 **IT'S SAM!**

 _ **Meanwhile...**_

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

 _ **Time: 10.00**_

 **Sam, now since Carly is out of town-**

Again!

 **Yes, again. I need to ask you something...**

Jeez, why are you being formal and all that kind of chizz? You remind of one of my Mum's ex-boyfriends!

 **Look Sam you might- wait...Really?**

Yes.

 **Gross.**

Yup.

 **Moving on! Now, don't freak out but people think you and Freddie are...you sure you're not going to kill me?**

Just spit it out Spencer!

 **Okay, first step away from the dangerous weapons.**

Wow, this must be some serious chizz.

 **Yeah...okay. So people think you're...dating Freddie.**

WHAT?! THOSE DEMENTED SEDDIE'S!

 **Seddiers.**

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

 **It's Seddiers not 'Seddie's'.**

Oh...WAIT! How do _you_ know that?

 **Because...my friend Hunter is a Seddier.**

Right.

 **Sam! Put that baseball bat down!**

Or what?

 **Or...I'll not by anymore meat for the whole month!**

You wouldn't dare.

 **Try me.**

...

 **Good girl. Oh hey Freddie!**

 **I need to speak with Sam.**

Yeah, I need to text with you as well. BYE SPENCER!

 **So...you two are just gonna text each other?**

Yeah, in that way those stupid Seddiers can't get to us.

 **Okay...**

GO MAKE SOME CHIZZING SPAGETTI TACOS SPENCER!

 **OKAY! Don't hurt me...**

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

 _ **Time: 12.00**_

Soooo...

 **Sooo...**

You first.

 **Ladies first.**

Don't pull that crap on me Benson, you start.

 **Okay. Do you know that, like 75% of the iCarly viewers think we are dating.**

No shit Sherlock. Spence just told me now.

 **So that's why he's cowering in fear.**

Yeah...

 **So...do you think they know about...us...?**

NO! Wait, I'm not so sure about the Seddie's but NO!

 **Then why did my Mum ask me if I was dating you?**

...Do you think someone saw us?

 **Maybe...**

We're screwed if they did.

 **Yeah, we are.**

We have the weirdest relationship ever.

 **I know, but I wouldn't have anything else.**

You're such a sap Benson.

 **I know, we Bensons like sap and Galaxy Wars.**

Yeah, yeah. Come on.

 **Where are we going?**

You're taking me to the Groovy Smoothie.

 **But what if someone sees us?**

We'll just tell them you lost a bet so you have to do my bidding for this whole month.

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

 _ **Time: 20.00**_

 **CARLY! CARLY! CARLAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!**

 _ **WHAT IS IT SPENCER?!**_

 **I told Sam that people think that she and Freddie are dating.**

 _ **You did WHAT?!**_

 **Yeah, then she got a baseball bat-**

 _ **And beat the chizz out of you?**_

 **No she didn't.**

 _ **No?**_

 **Yeah, I threatened to not buy any meat and then she lowered it down, huffing. Then Freddie came and she ordered me to make some Spaghetti Taco's and then they went to the Groovy Smoothie.**

 _ **Together? As in like a DATE?!**_

 **Yeah, like a OMG!**

 _ **I KNOW RIGHT!**_

 **NOT THAT! DNASJKDHADNAKJ MY SOCKS ARE ON FIRE!**

 _ **WHAT! SPENCER!**_

 **BYE CARLAY!**

 _ **SPENCER! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME ON A CLIFFHANGER! I NEED TO KNOW IF IT WAS A DATE!**_

 _ **SPENCER!**_

 _ **SPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!**_

 _ **Hope you're happy, I woke up Granddad!**_

 _ **Chizz. He's coming here.**_

 _ **I'm calling you next time.**_

* * *

 **A/N: I hope this wasn't that crappy! And oh Seddie secret relations. I think the only reason they want a secret relation is because they don't want the 'Creddiers' to go on a rampage. Haven't you guys noticed? I haven't put da Gibby in this fic at all! SACRE BLEUR! I dunno what that means...**

 ***Sighs***

 **Mrs. Benson: My darling Freddiekins!**

 **Me: *Sweatdrop***

 **Gibby: REVIEW!**


	7. Nicknames, Come-backs and Seddie!

**A/N: Yo! Looks like it's almost...*Checks watch* a week since I've updated this so Hola! So, I've got like TONS of reviews for all of my stories an if you checked on my profile you could see I published a new 'texting kind of story' for Victorious, check it out!**

 **BIG thanks to IAmWhoIAmUGotAProb for reviewing all of my stories and favouriting this and following it, your rock!**

 **Guest- Looks like I'm continuing (Even though I wasn't on Hiatus) so here's the chapter! This is gonna be like only Sam and Freddie, Gibby's gonna be on the next one!**

 **DICLAIMER: I do not own iCarly.**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Time: 12.00**_

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

Wassup Freddork?

 **Sam, I'm your boyfriend, could you can down the insults please?**

Who says the words 'can down' in a sentence in the first place?

 **I do!**

You shouldn't be proud of that...

 **I tried...**

Now get over here and give Momma some love!

 **Yes, mistress.**

Good monkey!

 **You know I hate monkey's...**

Ever since the petting zoo...

 **THEY WERE EVIL MONKEY'S!**

THEY JUST WANTED A BANANA!

 **SO?!**

THAT IS A PRETTY SUCK-ISH THING TO BE AFRAID OF MONKEY'S!

 **ARE WE SERIOUSLY FIGHTING OVER A MONKEY?!**

YES!

 **WE HAVE THE MOST DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP EVER!**

I AM AWARE OF THAT!

 **I DON'T...WAIT!**

WHAT!?

 **Did you just say "I am aware of that"?**

Holy buckets of cheese...

You're gonna break a rib if you keep on laughing like that...

I am going to hurt you.

 **You're becoming like me!**

I will kill you.

 **I think I should be calling you Freddie Jr or Fred!**

I hate you.

 **This should be posted on twitter! And everywhere.**

Figures you only know about twitter...

 **Don't try to change the subject Sam.**

I am not.

 **Yes you are.**

Am not.

 **Am yes!**

That doesn't even make sense!

 **AHA-HAH!**

Fuck.

 **I KNEW IT! I'm telling Shane, and-**

And if you do, we're over.

 **You're kidding...**

Am I?

 **Sam, just because you walked out of the door doesn't mean I'm gonna fall for this trick.**

 **I refuse to fall for the trick.**

 **I shall not fall for the trick.**

 **I refuse to believe this.**

 **I shall not believe that you want to break up with me...**

 **Sam...?**

 **(A/N: That part was like a song! Or a poem! MEH!)**

 _ **Time: 12.05**_

 **SAM?! WHERE ARE YOU?! Why is there ham in your hand?**

Took you long enough nub. And why do you think there is a ham on my hand?

 **I KNEW THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BREAK-UP WITH ME! You just went out for ham!**

Then why did you come after me then?

 **...**

Don't try it with Momma, Momma always wins...

 **You look like you're in a good mood.**

Yeah, because Mrs. Briggs got ran over by a truck!

 **WHAT?!**

You didn't hear?

 **Erm...NO!**

Unfortunately she's alive still BUT she's in coma!

 **Only you would say that about your teachers...**

Only me.

 **So, now that you're in a good mood can I-**

No.

 **You didn't even know what I was gonna ask you!**

Yeah, but I bet it was nubby, that's why you want me in a good mood.

 **But-**

No buts.

 **But-**

No buts.

 **But-**

I FUCKING SAID NO BUTS FREDWARD KARL BENSON!

 **...**

I'm hungry.

 **You're always hungry babe.**

I thought I told you not to call me that!

 **Then what should I call you?!**

I dunno, MY NAME!?

 **Sorry! I thought a good boyfriend was supposed to call their girlfriends 'babe'.**

Only you Fredward would think that...

NOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

 **Opening the door for you.**

WHY?! AM I TOO WEAK TO OPEN THE EFFING DOOR?!

 **NO! It was in the-**

ASahsdjkhaSWDKLJASDLJKNASJDKSNADLKN

 **Sam...? Are you okay?**

WHY ARE YOU READING EFFING BOYYFRIEND MANUAL BOOKS?!

 **TO HELP ME!**

OH, HELP YOU?!

 **YES, HELP ME!**

SO NOW YOU THINK I'M TOO MUCH OF A PRISS TO-

 ** _Time: 12.25_**

I cant believe that stupid waiter kicked us out of the restaurant!

 **He has every right to; you dumped coke- that was ICE COLD need I remind you- down his pants then called him a wazz-bag with no life who should die in a fire infested with-**

I know what I said Fredward. They should be lucky that they practically have CELEBRITIES inside the restaurant!

 **That is true...**

Stop staring.

 **What is that?**

A quesadilla from their.

 **You took it? From where?!**

From your mother's grave!

 **Can you ever NOT be sarcastic?**

Can you ever not be a sappy nub?

 **Can you ever NOT be such a pessimist?**

Good job, I've taught you well. Now, use those words and say those to Mr. Henning.

 **He's in jail.**

Lewbert?

 **His wart scares me.**

YOU ARE SUCH A PANSY! Anyways, Mrs. Briggs?

 **She's in a HOSPITAL for crying out loud!**

Nevel?

 **No- actually that might be a good idea!**

Now, come on lover boy.

 **What is in there?**

You're better of not knowing...

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for it being short, I had to rush this cuz my Mum's shouting at me for dinner. And I really wanted to update before I turn my computer off. So, yeah!**

 **Please review! AND...**

 **Peace out, girl scout! (The first one to get that reference, who said it and which TV it was from gets a shout-out!)**


	8. Regret, Dates & Future Seddie

**A/N: So it looks like it's almost 2 week-ish since I last updated this so Hola peeps! Check out my other stories as well and holy moly macaroni I got 1700 views for this!** **So I'm going to say this to everyone: Thank you all for either for reviewing, favouriting, following and reading. You all rock!**

 **DICLAIMER: I do not own iCarly.**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 _ **Le Carly**_

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Time: 12.00**_

 _ **Location: Ridgeway High**_

Wassup Sir. Nubsalot?

 **...**

What?

 **Sir Nubsalot?**

What do you want me to say? Sir. Dorksalot?

 **Erm, how about MY NAME?!**

Okay, _Fredward_.

 **No, not my full name.**

WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOU?!

 **Well-**

Woops, don't care.

 **You are so pessimistic.**

You are so unpessimistic!

 **That's not a real word!**

Your face is not a real word.

 **The correct term for someone who is not a pessimist is called an optimist-**

 **Where are you going?**

 **Sam! It's the middle of lessons, you can't just bail!**

 **Hope you're happy I now got detention...**

:D

 **You got detention as well.**

Like I care.

 **True.**

 _ **Time: 18.00**_

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

 **Isn't Mr. Howard supposed to be here?**

Yeah he is, but he is in the teachers lounge swallowing Miss Briggs face off.

 **...Thank you for that image that is permanently stuck in my mind now.**

Your fault for askin'.

 **How did you have enough time to buy that beef jerky?**

I'm James Bond Fredward!

 **...Why?**

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **How do you do that?**

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Stop doing that!**

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **SAM!**

Don't call me that Alejandro.

 **My names not Alejandro!**

It sounds better than that horrible name your psychotic mother gave you.

 **My Mum's not psychotic, overprotective but not psychotic!**

That's what she said.

 **SAM! I'm not a girl!**

That's what it said.

 **Now I'm a _thing,_ how is that even better?!**

Don't call my name Alejandro...

 **Are we seriously back to this conversation?!**

Your fault.

 **Deja vu much?**

...

 **...Sam?**

...

 **Sam?**

I need ham.

 **So?**

So, you need to get me ham!

 **But you're eating the whole- no don't come here Sam! Ouch! That _hurts!_**

Don't back talk to me Benson.

 **But you're-**

Do you want me to go there again?!

 **No.**

Good.

 **Fine.**

Fine.

 **Hate you.**

Hate you more.

 ** _Time: 12.00_**

 ** _Location: Shay Building_**

What's _that_?!

 _ **That**_ **is what my girlfriend gave me!**

Who would date _you_ of all people? Is she blind? I bet she's blind.

 **She's not blind!**

Then she HAS to be ugly as chizz.

 **She's not!**

Prove it.

 **Fine.**

...

 **Told you.**

I still believe that she's blind.

 **Cant you just be happy that I've found love with someone?!**

...Love?

 **Yes, love.**

This will not go well.

 **What's that supposed to mean?!**

Seriously? You're asking me why it's not going to go well? Have you forgotten your 'love' for Carly for the last three years and your 'perfect relationship' with Valerie about a year ago? I'm just saying that she's using you for something like Valerie or your bacon...again.

 **At least I didn't go out with someone just because they bought me bacon! Or at least I didn't be blinded by love that I went out with the most conceited jerk who made me late for important things and tried to kiss my best friend! Just because one of my relationships weren't relationship doesn't mean that this is also going to be unsuccessful!**

 **At least I tried to date someone else instead of just standing there and being a third wheel whenever my best friend comes with her new boyfriend! Let me think, you are doing this all and your telling me that they might be using me!? They like me for who I am and not who I pretended to be as you changed for Pete so don't give me a lecture on love when your not good with it yourself!**

If you care more about this phony person instead of one of your true friends then I'm going.

 **See if I care if you go away crying! Yeah, leave like that, you'll come back the next day!**

 _ **A week later...**_

 _ **Time: 17.00**_

 **Carly, where's Sam? She wasn't here in school for the past week or here! Does she have the flu or something? And please answer me this time and stop glaring at me!**

 _ **Like you don't know!**_

 **What did I do?!**

 _ **Oh, you did nothing wrong instead of breaking her heart all over again! You did worse than what Jonah did to her, she came crying to me- no bawling her eyes out to me and I NEVER have seen her this broken. You are no better than Jonah, hell you're even worse and I hope you're happy because you broke her heart. She know is pushing me, and everyone who loves her again because her heart is still mending.**_

 **I never meant any of it.**

 _ **Then why did you say it?! Of course you meant it as you said it and didn't even apologise after! She gave you that response because she was hoping that you were going to get through that thick skull of yours that you hurt her, she was fighting back tears but she didn't want to be weak.**_ _ **She's broken and you're the only person that can fix her and I hope that you do as I can see that you love her too but your just blocking those feelings out of your body.**_

 **But how can I... fix her?**

 _ **I don't know but you can figure that out yourself. Please** **Freddie, I need the Sam I know and love back and I know that you want her back to. Just please do the right thing and bring her back.**_


	9. Group Chats, Blurts, Poems & SEDDIE!

**A/N: Yo! Thanks to all you reviewers and viewers cuz this now has 2200 views! And to all you followers and people who favourited, ya rock!**

 **DICLAIMER: I do not own iCarly.**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 ** _Le Carly_**

 _Le Spencer_

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Time: 12.00**_

 _ **Location: Ridgeway High**_

Roses are red, violets are blue,

A face like yours belongs in the zoo.

Don't be mad, I'll be there too!

Not in the cage,

Just laughing at you.

 **What is the point of this? And violets are violet Sam!**

Twinkle twinkle little star,

I wanna hit you with my car.

Throw you off a cliff so high,

Hope you break your neck and die.

 **Must you be so... insulting to me all the time?**

No.

 **Really?**

No.

 **You're so pessimistic.**

I don't care.

 _ **Time: 17.00**_

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

 _ **SPENCER! SPENCER! ANSWER ME BACK!**_

 _What's up Kiddo?_

 ** _You wanna hear a poem?_**

 _Sure._

 ** _A short poem about Seddie._**

 ** _Purple is the colour of LOVE,_**

 ** _It's the colour 'Seddie' combined makes,_**

 ** _Purple is the colour of PASSION,_**

 ** _Purple is always in fashion,_**

 ** _Purple is the colour of DREAMS,_**

 ** _Purple is the best it seems,_**

 ** _Purple is the colour of SEDDIE,_**

 ** _Purple is the best you see..._**

 _So is this your way of telling me you've got a plan to get Sam and Freddie together?_

 ** _Maybe..._**

 _Now you're being difficult._

 ** _Nope, I just have to make sure if it's full proof._**

 _Yay?_

 ** _..._**

 _What?_

 ** _Your socks are on fire._**

 _..._

 ** _Time: 18.00_**

 ** _Location: Groovy Smoothie_**

 ** _Can't you two just get along, just once for me at least?_**

 **I try to be civil with her and she tries murder me!**

Drama queen.

 **See!**

Aww, little Freddikins needs Carly to defend him!

 _ **Sam.**_

 **At least I do good in school!**

 _ **Freddie.**_

No chizz dork, that's why you're a nub.

 _ **Seriously?**_

 **If you happen to know I got six-pack!**

The only six-pack you will have is of tears if you continue saying gibberish like that.

 ** _This conversation sounds like gibberish._**

 **I work out!**

Sure you do.

 ** _I feel like I'm dead for them._**

 **I DO!**

Then how come I can still beat you up?

 **Because you have superhuman strength!**

True.

 ** _This is ironic._**

Huh?

 **What's so ironic?**

 _ **Oh, NOW you acknowledge my presence?!**_

 **Yes?**

What's so ironic?

 ** _You look like a little girl with a crush on a Freddie, because if a girl constantly rips on a guy that means she likes him. Or at least that's what Spencer told me._**

And you're believing Spencer?

 _ **...Touché.**_

Great, now you're using stupid words that I can't understand.

 **I feel like you both forgot I was here.**

Yeah, I was wondering why this conversation wasn't so nubby.

 **You're so... rude.**

Nice to know what you think of me.

 ** _You two are arguing like an old married couple! STOP!... Or is there something you wanted to tell me Sam and Freddie?_**

-.-

 ** _Stop doing that face._**

Okay. T_T

 _ **...**_

Carls, what have you been eating for breakfast, a whole bowl of crazy flakes?!

 _ **It's not that impossible.**_

Freddie would never date me and I would never date him. Final.

 _ **Yeah but-**_

No buts.

 **Yeah... Sam and I never going to happen. It's not happening. Nu-huh. Ever. It's not like we're secretly dating behind your back and putting on a façade whenever other people come!**

 _ **Yeah...I'll just leave this chat now.**_

Way to play it cool dorkwad.

 **Hey, don't give me that face! I panicked!**

You panic all the time.

 **Do not!**

Oh yeah, on our first date you were worried if I would kill you for taking us to a fancy smanshy restaurant.

 **...**

I rest my case.

 **How were you not freaking out?!**

Because, unlike you, I have OODLES of self-control.

 **I never-**

OODLES!

 **Okay!**

Good.

 **...She's staring at us.**

I know that. Wait, are you now calling me BLIND?!

 **How did you get blind from Carly's staring at us.**

Because you implied that I was blind.

 **I never implied- WAIT!**

What is it now?

 **Did you just use the word 'implied' in a sentence?**

Oh God, now with you as my boyfriend my coolness factor is dropping!

 **That's very-**

 _ **AHA!**_

 **CARLY!?**

I THOUGHT YOU LEFT!

 _ **Nope, I just made you think I left. Seriously, you both are idiots, who call each other boyfriend and girlfriend on a group chat?**_

...

 **...**

 _ **And, secondly WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?**_

Chill Carls, Fredward will explain this.

 **Yeah, calm- wait what?**

I texted-

 **Why me?!**

So I don't get screamed to death?

 **And it's okay with me getting screamed to death?! And Carly's next door, she can kill me when I get out!**

Then sneak out the window.

 _ **Erm.. hello? Still on group chat!**_

Okay, the truth is...

 **My mother would-**

Die if she found out that me and Freddie were dating-

 **So to spare my mother's life-**

And ours from facing the Creddiers wrath-

 **We are secretly dating.**

 _ **Okay. I get that but why didn't you tell me?!**_

Because you'll blab it out to everyone!

 _ **Touché.**_

Bye.

 _ **Where are you going?**_

On a date with Fredlumps.

 _ **Why are you still calling him nicknames if you're dating him?**_

 **Because it's like our thing.**

BYE!

 **Bye.**

 _ **Their thing. Okay. I get that. Their thing. THEIR THING?!**_


	10. Fluff, Denial & Reassurance

**A/N: Hola! Gracias to all you reviewers and viewers cuz this now has almost 3000 views! And to all you followers and people who favourited, ya rock! And for all ya Seddiers this is all denial and kinda fluffy (I'm clueless when it comes to that) so hope ya like it!**

 **DICLAIMER: I do not own iCarly.**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 **PLEASE REVIEW**

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Time: 3.00 AM**_

 **Sam, are you awake?**

...

 **Sam?**

Noooo, I'm skydiving.

 **No need for your sarcastic remarks Puckett.**

Whatever, anyways how does your freakish mother let you stay up past 1? I thought she makes you go to bed at 9 all the time.

 **Yeah.. but I couldn't sleep.**

Aww, is little Fredward's mind filled with sad thoughts because Carly won't date him?

 **For your information, I wasn't thinking about Carly!**

Yeah, right.

 **Why would I text you if I was thinking about Carly?**

Because Carly doesn't love you?

 **I've grown over my crush on her LONG ago!**

Like I'd believe that, I'm not as gullible as you Benson!

 **I never texted that!**

...Wanna know my To Do List?

 **What?**

1) Buy a sword

2) Name it kindness

3) Kill people with kindness starting with you...

 **I blame myself for asking what.**

Yeah, whatever.

 _ **Time: 12.00**_

 _ **Location: Ridgeway**_

Yo!

 **Sam, stop texting me! I'll get another detention if someone sees my phone vibrating!**

That's the point nub.

 **...**

:D

 **I hate you.**

Not what you were saying yesterday...

And I hate you more.

 **Y_Y**

What's that even supposed to be?!

 **Erm...**

Yeah, _very cool_ nub.

 **Ha! You got detention too!**

So? Detentions practically an everyday thing for me but for _you_? Well, it's gonna get interesting.

 **You're so offensive.**

Dude, I just complimented you by saying that your a goody-two-shoes.

 **Well, maybe I don't wanna be a goody two shoes anymore!**

Now your talking crazy, and I know crazy.

 **I'll show you!**

Very funny, seriously, your freak-show of mother freaked out when you had PB&J together.

 **Well, this is going to be... exhilarating.**

Only you would text that.

 _ **Time: 16.00**_

 _ **Location: Ridgeway**_

370HSSV 0773H

 **Sam, what the chizz?!**

Read it upside down.

 **That's offensive! I'm a gentleman!**

Stu(dying)

Stu(died)

Coincidence? I think not.

 **Wow, you know what coincidence means.**

What, now you're saying I'm dumb?! That's not what a gentleman does!

 **No, I didn't mean it like that!**

Then what did it mean?!

 **I was just kidding, you're very smart Sam. I mean, who else could hotwire the school's electricity just for food?**

I guess I'm pretty awesome.

 **Yeah, you are.**

Why do we even need school?

 **So we can learn.**

Really? All of the subjects we can do in our lives easily.

 **Enlighten me.**

MUSIC: There's YouTube for that.

 **That is true, next.**

SPORT: There's the Wii.

 **Next.**

SPANISH: There's Dora and YOU!

 **I'll take that as a compliment.**

ENGLISH: Who the chizz even cares?! Everything is shortened!

MATH: I have a calculator.

GEOGRAPHY: I'll buy a stupid globe.

SCIENCE: I ain't bein' a scientist when I'm older.

 **Okay, I get it, but what about the other subjects?**

I don't care.

 **Good?**

9we x cer (az - bq x tf = lg) + 9h (-22xc X -11hn) - 5Z = K... Yeah, I definitely see how this is going to help me in the future (Sarcasm intended)

 **You hate algebra.**

Yeah, I hate it so much I'm thinking of writing Math a letter!

 **Oh my god.**

Wanna hear it?

 **No.**

Woops don't care!

 **Sam, what's the point of sending me an email when you're texting me right now?!**

It's more entertaining.

 **You are crazy.**

At least I ain't a nub!

 **SAM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!**

Writing on my hand, duh!

 **You could get ink-poisoning!**

And then I can sue the school!

 **Or you could die!**

This stupid pen ink won't kill me, jeez you're more dramatic than Carls sometimes.

 **Uh, yes it could!**

Wow, you must be seriously scared of Carly's wrath if you're like this.

 **What do you mean?**

Nothing, forget it.

 **No, what do you mean I'm scared of Carly's wrath?**

Nothing changes after I tell you this?

 **Nothing.**

Well, I can't trust many people because of- well everyone. Everyone played a part in making me get trust issues. Like my Dad, he abandoned my when I needed him the most, then came my Mum and then Melanie. It was hard to trust anyone after that so I acted out, and you reminded me of Melanie so much that it _hurts_. It hurts because you two are kinda alike and I'm afraid of letting people in so I push them out.

 **Then why did you let Carly get in?**

Because I felt safe with her, just like I feel with you now.

 **Thanks Sam, and I'm not scared of Carly's wrath just to reassure you: I** **'m genuinely concerned for you, I'm not putting up some façade, I'm putting out my emotions. Nobody wants you to go, you're too special to go.**

Great, now I'm all depressed.

 **Is that a bad thing?**

No, it's like a good depressed. Don't ask. And one more thing: what is texted here stays here, roger Benson?

 **Yeah, stays here.**

Good, now don't treat me less just because of this chick flick moment!

 **Yeah... I wont...**

Good.

 **Yeah.**

Well... bye... Freddie.

 **Bye Sam...**


	11. Drunk Sam, Aftermath & Shrines

**A/N: Hola! Gracias to all you reviewers, followers, favouriters and viewers cuz this now has almost 3000 views! Sorry this is short...**

 **DICLAIMER: I do not own iCarly.**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 _ **Le Carly**_

 **PLEASE REVIEW**

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Time: 1.00AM**_

Fredi cn u com ovr n get me 4rom da party?

 **Sam, why are you texting like that?...Are you drunk?**

Nah den.

 **Why are you texting me to pick you up?**

Cuz evry1 is wasted n ur da only 1 dat isn't.

 **So you are drunk.**

12 Burger Street.

 **Okay, I'm coming.**

N don't brng ur crzy mom!

 **I wasn't planning to.**

Good.

 **Wait at the entrance 'kay?**

KK.

 _ **Time: 12.00**_

God, why do I feel like I'm dying?

 **You're not 'dying', you're just having a hangover.**

God, why the chizz did you allow me to go to that chizzy party?!

 **Sam, I didn't. I told you not to and then you said that you don't care what I think.**

Oh...

 **Yeah...**

Thanks.

 **Your welcome.**

If you tell anyone of this I will rip out your internal organs and then stand and watch you bleed to death.

 **Wasn't expecting anything less :D**

Those smiley faces make you look like a pedophile.

 **:(**

Now that makes you look like my next door neighbour, Sally.

 **Sally's a normal name.**

Sally Crab-apple.

 **Oh.**

I'm hungry.

 **You're always hungry.**

Have any bacon?

 **Third drawer to the right.**

Cool.

 **Yeah, kool.**

Never do that again, I hate those stupid what's-the-word-

 **Abbreviations? Acronyms?**

Yeah, that, those annoy me deeply.

 **Then why did you use them before?**

What the chizz are you texting about?

 **I'm textin' 'bout the text you sent me at...1 am last time.**

Hey, that doesn't count! I was drunk, wasted and out of my mind!

 **Sure...**

Now you're being annoying.

 **Yay?**

T_T

 **I thought you hated emoji's?**

I don't, I just hate them when you do them.

 **Meanie.**

Now you sound like a child.

 **:)**

Ugghh! You're doing _those_ again!

 **;)**

Screw you Benson.

 **I'm sure you would love to do that.**

Where the chizz did this newfound confidence come from?

 **I hang out with you, you're rubbing off on me.**

God, if I'm rubbing off on you and making you a cooler person then that means you might rub off on me and I will become a uncool person!

 **That's offensive.**

Good.

 **Good?**

Good. I'm gonna go break something to get in jail again, I can't have you damaging my reputation.

 **Okay?**

Now you're abusing those question marks.

 **How? I only used... seven... no eight... no nine.. you know, now I see your point!**

Good.

 **You're abusing that word.**

Don't try that with me Benson or I will break your face into pieces.

 **Pfft, I'm not scared of you.**

That's what a Freddie said.

 **Are we seriously back into this conversation, I am a HUMAN, a HUMAN, not a separate specie!**

Prove it.

 **P-prove it? I have a head, a nose, a brain, you know I could go on with this forever.**

Whatever.

 **Where are you going?**

 **Sam, it's cold outside!**

 **Sam, at least wear a coat!**

 **You could get hypothermia!**

 **Come on, don't be like that!**

 **Please! Text back!**

 **And come back!**

 **SAM!**

 **You know what, now I'm gonna go look for you.**

 _ **Time: 1.00**_

 **Carls, is Sam here?**

 _ **No, we just came back... WHAT DID YOU DO?!**_

 **Nothing! She just left my apartment without a coat and jacket and I figured that she went to yours!**

 _ **Well, she didn't.**_

 **Chizz, now she's gonna get hypothermia!**

 _ **Awww, you care about Sam.**_

 **Do not!**

 _ **Then why are you worrying over her?**_

 **Because she's my friend!**

 _ **Which means that you care for her!**_

 **Okay, are you going to tell her that then?**

 _ **I seriously don't know WHY exactly you don't want me to tell her that you care about her.**_

 **Because it's complicated...**

 _ **Now you're pulling the cliché 'it's complicated' saying.**_

 **So?**

 _ **So that means that you care for her, like a best friend level.**_

 **You're out of your mind.**

 _ **See! That's what I mean, now you're acting like her!**_

 **So what if she's rubbing off on me? It doesn't mean that I'm in love with her!**

 _ **Now, I never said that... or texted that...**_

 **Stop smirking at me Carly, nothing's going on between us.**

 _ **Yet you want something to.**_

 **I do not!**

 _ **Yeah, you do.**_

 **What's your proof then?**

 _ **That you're a horrible liar.**_

 **That's offensive.**

 _ **But true.**_

 **Stop looking at me like that!**

 _ **Looking at you like what?**_

 **Like you know something that I do not want to say to you!**

 _ **Trust me, I know a LOT of things that you do not..**_

 **Carly, stop evil laughing.**

 **Seriously.**

 **You sound like Dr. Doom.**

 **Now you're creeping me out.**

 **I'm going now.** _ **To your shrine dedicated to Sam?**_

 **...**

 _ **Yeah, that's right, I know.**_

 **...COMING MOTHER!**


	12. Drunk Freddie, New Experinces & Dating

**A/N: Hola! Gracias to all you reviewers, followers, favouriters and viewers cuz this now has over 3000 views! Sorry this is short... and this maybe an indirect sequel to the before chapter!**

 **DICLAIMER: I do not own iCarly.**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 **PLEASE REVIEW**

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Time: 1.00AM**_

 **Sam, you awake?**

No, I'm dancing the Macarena with elephants, of course I'm awake! Whaddya want?

 **I can't sleep.**

So?

 **You know, you could at least show some interest and ask why I couldn't sleep!**

Okay, why couldn't you sleep Fredward?

 **Because in my dream it said that I will never do something** **spontaneous and exciting in my life,** **so I was worried therefore I texted you because you're the most outgoing person I know.**

Whaddya wanna do then?

 **Sam, if you- wait, did you just agree with me?!**

What, have you become blind now?

 **No... I just expected you to be more denying.**

That's not cool.

 **Shut up.**

I don't care what you think.

 **Duly noted.**

Come over nub.

 **What? Now?**

No, I just told you to come over for no reason!

 **But, why not in the morning?**

Because my abilities are at their best at night.

 **Oh, yeah.**

 _ **Time: 2.00AM**_

Wow, took your time, didn't ya?

 **Shut up Sam, I saw a hobo who wanted to kill me.**

Oh, the hobo outside our door? That's John, he's my friend.

 **WHY DO YOU HAVE MASS-MURDER HOBO'S AS YOUR FRIENDS?!**

Because I am cool, unlike you.

 **I am cool!**

Says who?

 **You know what, let's just make a list of bad things and then do them!**

Sam: Infinity

Dork: -Infinity

 **That's not fair!**

Whatever, wear this.

 **Why are we dressing like we're gonna rob a bank?**

...

 **After I texted that, I realised dhow dumb that sounded.**

No chizz, Sherlock.

 **So, run through all of the LEAST illegal/bad things you've done and I'll pick some, 'kay?**

I really don't care.

 **SAM!**

Fine.

 **Start.**

Pfft... Drinking alcohol, Skinny-dipping, Shoplifting, Running away from cops, Jack-slapping a cop in front of his children and then taking his underwear and giving him a wedgie, Making out with a bartender who was hot but 3 years older for a free supply of Vodka...

 **YOU MADE OUT WITH A BARTENDER WHO WAS OLDER THAN YOU BY THREE YEARS?!**

Dude, if you want to do that, I advise you to wear a chap stick, some less-nubby clothes and some-

 **WHY A CHAPSTICK?!**

Because, when you kiss the person and finish she might not puke all over you. However, after she sees you she'll probably get a heart attack.

 **...Carry on with the list.**

There is no more cuz those were the least illegal things I've done.

 **LEAST?!**

Least, four letters, something tom describe the quantity of something, is often used in Maths... do you want me to carry on?

 **I know what it means!...WAIT! How did you know least's definition that precisely?**

Because my friend from jail texted me the same thing before and I just copied and pasted.

 **Right, I was getting worried there.**

So, whaddya choose? I don't have the whole day!

 **Erm... drinking alcohol, skinny-dipping and... shoplifting.**

Damn, I was looking forward to making out with a hot bartender!

 **SAM!**

Jealous much?

 **Jealous less!**

Sure...

 **You're so irritating.**

That's because you look like you're jealous!

 **I'm not!**

Sure...

 **Now I'm scared.**

You should be.

 **Where's the restroom?**

Restroom? Who even says that? Copy the British people and say toilet!

 **Who even does that? And I'm DESPERATE!**

I do! And I don't care!

 **If you don't I may pee in here!**

...Second door to the right from here.

 **Thanks.**

 _ **Time: 10.00 PM**_

 **Godzzz Sam ur so sxyyyyy**

I know I am.

 **Srizzzy, u r da most beautiful gurl in da world!**

Yeah, yeah.

 **Ur blshing, do u thnk im hndsom?**

...You don't look bad.

 **So u thnk im hndsom!**

I never said that!

 **Yh but u thout it!**

...

 **I love u!**

Now you're creeping me out...

 **U kiss nice!** **Owwww! Oooh...** **prtty ligt!**

You're gonna be so grossed out tomorrow...

I need to call and ambulance.

And probably the police.

And the I'll probably blame it on Gibby.

Now I'm gonna delete this convo.

 _ **Time: 7AM**_

Dude, you were SOOOO drunk last night!

 **Was not! And besides, it was your fault!**

Sure, sure!

 **Then names some of the incredulous things I've done yesterday?**

Least bad or most bad?

 **Least bad!**

You screamed at Frothy, asking him why he killed Mufasa. Then you started to dance on my bed Barbie-ish style, singing along with the song that came on the radio (that was I'm a Barbie Girl)...

 **Anything else that was** **least bad happened?**

No...

 **Really?**

Yeah, you were just drunk out of your mind.

 **You sure?**

Yeah, I'm sure.

 **Oh, okay.**

 **Sam?**

What?

 **Why do I have a slap mark on my cheek?**

Because you got hit by me after you sang I'm a Barbie Girl...

 **Then what about the kiss stains around my lips?**

Some chick kissed you.

 **Really, cuz it tastes like the bacon flavored lipstick that nobody in the world except _you_ have.**

...

 **So, what really happened?**

Fine, the slap mark on your cheek is from me cuz you kissed me out of nowhere. Then you asked me out and I KO'd cuz you obviously were out of your mind.

 **So, if I was more sober would you agree?**

I don't know, you gotta ask me first.

 **Sam Puckett, would you honour me of being my girlfriend?**

Yeah, yeah, but you should know this Frewina: in this relationship you're SOOOO the girlfriend.

 **Didn't expect anything less...**


	13. Operation MakePurple & Another Poem

**A/N: Hola! Gracias to all you reviewers, followers, favouriters and viewers cuz this now has over 3000 views!**

 **DICLAIMER: I do not own iCarly.**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 _ **Le Carly**_

 **PLEASE REVIEW**

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Time: 10.00**_

 **Yo, yo!**

That's not cool.

 **Shut up, I thought it was very cool in fact.**

Hence the reason why its not cool.

 **So, you actually use correct grammar and the correct use of words and punctuation when you wanna insult me, but you can't do it in school?**

Yup.

 **You're crazy.**

You're a nerd.

 **You're aggressive.**

You're lame.

 **You'r** **e a jerk.**

You're a mothers boy.

 **Whatever.**

Nyeeh!

 **Nyeeh!**

Stop copying me nub.

Answer me back dork!

BENSON!

 **My mother's crazy.**

And it took you this long to figure this out...?

 **She made me wear safety goggles while I was pouring ketchup because, apparently, it will land in my eye and I will die!**

Lol.

 **Sometimes I wish I could have a mother like yours.**

Oh, really? You wish to have a mother who doesn't give a shit about her own daughter and constantly hooks up with random strangers to cope with her losing the man she 'loves'? You wish to have a mother who forgets to pay for food to keep at home, you wish to have a mother who blames you for everything as if you were the thing that caused everything to fall apart instead of having a kind, caring mother? Crazy maybe a psycho but at least she cares about you, instead of my demented mother.

You're so damn ungrateful y'know? Screw you Benson.

 **No, no, I didn't mean it like that!**

 **No, Sam, don't go!**

 **Sam!**

 **Damn it!**

 _ **About a week later...**_

 _ **Time: 13.00**_

Wanna help me with something Benson?

 **...Why me?**

Because you're not THAT stupid the and cuz Carly's in Yakima.

 **...I'm scared now.**

Whatever, anyways, I need your help kidnapping a celebrity.

 **WHAT?!**

It's that Whitney Malone chick, she insulted ham, she must feel my wrath!

 **That 'Whitney Malone chick' is actually a vegetarian!**

That's even worse!

 **Even if you wanted to, you won't be able to get past their security and her bodyguards.**

That's what i need you for, distract them with your ugly face and then I'll kidnap the chick.

 **Okay, what's the REAL reason as to why you wanna kidnap her?**

Why do you think that I haven't told you the real reason yet?

 **Because I know that you swore to Carly that you won't attack any other super stars after they insult ham, so what's the real reason?**

Damn you.

...She's a Seddier.

 **A what-tier?**

That's what I thought first, then I searched it up and apparently it's both of us being lovey dovey with each other.

 **But you go** **tta admit, for fanfics they're pretty spot on for our characters.**

...AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!

 **Know what?**

ABOUT THOSE DAMN FANFICS?!

 **...**

ANSWER THE QUESTION.

 **Whoops, your breaking signal, sorry!**

Fredward Jamie Alexandria Benson!

 **Aaah, you said my full name!**

Nah then...

 **Error #4567:**

 **This message couldn't be sent, please try again later.**

 _ **Time: 15.00**_

 **Carly, HELP!**

 _ **Freddie, I told you already, when Sam gets out her magic kit just leave the room!**_

 **No, not that! It's about operation #MakePurple**

 ** _...What did you do to sabotage this perfect plan?!_**

 **Remember five weeks ago, when you made me read some fanfics that were spot on, and then you devised a plan to get Sam and I together based off them so then you told me because you knew that I lo-liked her?**

 _ **Yeah...**_

 **It kinda slipped into the conversation when I was gonna ask Sam out that I read some fanfics...**

 _ **FREDWARD JAMIE ALEXANDRIA BENSON!**_

 **AAAH! YOU SAID IT AS WELL!**

 _ **What do you mean we? Wait, Sam said it as well? She knew your full name? That means she cares about you! Maybe even likes you back or should I say 'lo-likes you back'!**_

 **You're so observant.**

 _ **You're fault for adding a dash after 'lo' and then adding like instead of deleting 'lo' and then adding like.**_

 **Touché.**

 _ **What are you doing in this chat still then? Go ask her out! And THEN spill me the deets!**_

 **I'm pretty sure Sam'll do that if she agrees to go out with me.**

 _ **NO!**_

 **Por que?**

 _ **Since I'm not there, tell Spencer to help you with your date!**_

 **Spencer, really?**

 _ **He's the most experienced.**_

 **That sounds wrong.**

 _ **I now know that...**_

 _ **Time: 16.00**_

Look, Benson, don't know what's wrong with you but the minute I find out why you really asked me out I will kill you! Stop smirking like that!

 **The blush on your face says otherwise. Anyways, the reason I asked you out Sam is because I really like you so, to justify this I will quote a movie that you like. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we were together was the greatest day of my life.**

 **Would you honour me of being my girlfriend?**

No.

 **So I'll pick- what? Why?!**

Don't be like that, I'm only rejecting you because you don't have the balls to say this to my face. Say it to my face and you may get yourself a girlfriend.

 _ **Time: 12.00 (MIDNIGHT)**_

 **Sam! I wrote you a poem cuz I'm so happy that you're my girlfriend!**

Oh My God.

 **Until you came into my world,**

 **There was nothing but sadness and gloom.**

 **My world was missing the clouds and the sun,**

 **And also the stars and the moon.**

...

 **I never believed in magic,**

 **But you just appeared from thin air.**

 **I thought I would only be lonely in life,**

 **But now I'm a complete pair.**

 **You make me who I am in this point,**

 **Mold me in every way.**

You spent a lot of time didn't you?

 **There's not a precious moment,**

 **Where I don't want to give you my entire day.**

 **The passion between us is strong,**

 **Ferocious to those who see.**

 **The feelings that are shared between us.**

 **Me for you and you for me.**

I hate it.

 **What? Why? I spent hours making that poem!**

Because!

 **Because what?**

Because it's dumb!

 **Wait! I get it now..**

What do you get now?

 **Why you hate the poem...**

Chizz.

 **It made you cry didn't it?**

No...

 **Maybe I should write poems regularly...**

NO!

 **:D**

...

I'm hungry.

 **Then what do you want me to do?**

Take me to the Groovy Smoothie.

 **Forever thine, forever mine, forever ours.**

STOP QUOTING PEOPLE!


	14. Future Marriages, Questions & Avoidance

**A/N: Yo-YO! Danke to all you reviewers, followers, favouriters and viewers cuz this now has over 3000 views! Secondly, why the hell is no reviews posting after/near 2016? Seriously, some of my fics were updated and had, like, 43 reviews but I only see 34! Is it just my demented computer or is it happening worldwide to all you guys? Or is it just because I'm in London?**

 **DICLAIMER: I do not own iCarly.**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 _ **(Post I Lost My Mind)**_

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Time: 10.00**_

 **Sam, what would your ideal idea of a 'perfect' proposal be?**

Go away Fredward, I'm trying to sleep.

 **Just answer the question, please?**

Would that make little Freddie happy?

 **Erm, yes!**

Then no.

 **What? Why?**

I despise happiness and while we're at it, I hate you too.

 **I didn't know that you knew what despised means. Secondly, SAM! It's not nice to insult your boyfriend!**

Who said that you were my boyfriend?

 **The iCarly viewers, Carly and I!**

So? That doesn't prove anything.

 **AND YOU!**

You can't force me to admit anything.

 **Can't I?**

Screw you.

 **You would love that very much, now wouldn't you?**

Why the hell are you acting like a cocky asshole?

 **Sam, those foul words are forbidden to be used around me.**

So if I stop using such _foul_ words then you'll drop the subject?

 **Possibly.**

I don't trust that, so...

FUCK! SHIT! PISS! ASSHOLE! DICK!

 **SAM! STOP!**

Never in a million _fucking_ years Benson.

 **STOP SWEARING!**

Never.

 **If I give you three packs of Bolivian bacon, along with two packs of ham will you consider to stop swearing?**

...Maybe. Depends on how fast you get it.

 **So, that's a yes?**

Maybe.

 **Look outside your door.**

No.

 **Why?**

Because there might be a cop there.

 **Sam! Why would I send a cop to your house?**

Dunno, but you probably might've sent it for my crazy freak of a mother.

 **I see it now.**

You hear that sound?

 **What sound?**

Exactly, that's the sound of nobody caring.

 **Meanie.**

Dork.

 **...Mean person.**

(T_T)

And they call you smart...

 **I AM SMART!**

Look at your before comments then you'll see why your an idiot.

 **I don't see anything.**

 **And the correct term is previous.**

 **Wait, I think I see it now.**

 **...Now I feel like an idiot.**

 **Sam?**

 **SAM?!**

 **ANSWER THE TEXT SAM!**

I lost my phone so I can't text now, bye Freddington.

 **Okay! Text me when you have your phone back!**

 **...Wait.**

 **Now I feel like a bigger idiot.**

Ain't that the truth!

 **SAM!**

What?

 **That was the part where you tell me, 'no Freddie, you're not an idiot...'**

Whoops don't care.

 **Meanie.**

:D

 ** _Time: 13.00_**

 **What would be your ideal ring?**

A ring of ham.

 **No, seriously Sam, what would be your ideal ring?**

I just told you! A ring of ham!

 **No, like a _real_ ring!**

So you're saying that a ring of ham doesn't exist?

 **Of course not!**

Then why does my freak-show of mother have a ring of ham?

 **I am officially stumped and am stuck in a conundrum.**

Whatever, and why do you always start our texts asking my advice for marriage?

 **...Once I find an answer that will not require you to kill me, I'll text you then, okay?**

Whatever.

 ** _Time: 19.00_**

 **What would be the theme of your marriage?**

UGHHH! WE'RE BACK TO THIS AGAIN?!

 **Well, I wouldn't have to ask you repetitively if you actually answered these questions properly!**

If I answer them, then you PROMISE you will never ask them again?

 **Promise.**

Cross your heart?

 **Cross my heart.**

Then shoot.

 **What would you be wearing to the said marriage?**

Anything other than a dress, probably a tuxedo. You'll probably be wearing a dress...

 **What? Why?!**

Just ask me the damn questions, Benson!

 **Okay, okay! Fine...**

HURRY UP!

 **What would the colour scheme be of the said wedding?**

Red and blue.

 **Why?**

Seriously?

 **ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION PLEASE!**

Only you can make something that you're angry with, and then turn it sweet.

 **Pretty please with a cherry on top?**

FINE! You're favourite colour is blue, my favourite colour is red (after brown)...enough for ya Benson?

 **I still have one more question though...**

WHYYYYYY?!

 **Sam.**

Fine, I'll cooperate.

 **Good, wait how do you even know that word and its meaning?**

ARE YOU TRYING TO HINT AT SOMETHING BENSON!

 **What? NO! So, if I asked you to marry me what would you say?**

To go die in a fire and fuck a faggot.

 **...**

No, don't give me that stupid hurt puppy look!

 **Is that the truth? WAIT A MINUTE!**

Oh chizz...

 **You haven't technically denied it, so the answer?**

Nice try, Benson. You aren't getting an answer from me so soon. I want you to use your _imagination_...

 **Seriously? You choose to quote Spongebob, now of all times?**

Aww, is someone jealous?

 **Why would I be jealous of Spongebob?**

Because he looks better than you...

 **WHAT?! SAM! THAT'S JUST LOW!**

You started it.

 **How the chizz did I start it? You were the one who was quoting Spongebob of all things!**

Yet you asked me why I was quoting him...

 **That doesn't even make sense!**

It wasn't supposed to.

 **...Are you trying to change the subject by bringing up Spongebob?**

What do you think?

 **So you obviously are...**

Yeah, but if I tell you now that won't give me enough time to see you piss your pants from your nervousness, and to sweat like the hobo across the street called Linq.

 **Linq? Seriously, linq? And why?!**

Because I like people suffer.

 **Yeah, but I'm your _boyfriend_!**

And your point is?

 **You're impossible!**

Thank you.

 **That's not a compliment!**

So?

 **I seriously need to get a 'Sam journal' because you are certainly one confusing girl.**

And you also need to get a 'How to be a better boyfriend manual' because you sure as hell need it.

 **Stop twisting my words!**

Why?

 **Because it's bad!**

So?

 **And if you be bad then you'll go to juvie again.**

That's not cool when you say it. And why do I care if I go to juvie again?

 **Yes it is! And because if you're in juvie than how the hell are you supposed to get _quality_ food in there?**

By threatening the guard and scarring the other people for life until they kick me out!

 **It sounds like you did that before...**

And it sounds like you're surprised about me doin' that before...

 **Touché.**

* * *

 **A/N: Aah! Today's the last day of my break and I have to go to dinner now because it's currently... 8-ish and my Mum wants me to go early to sleep to be 'up and addem' for tomorrow morning. For all she knows, I'm doing my homework! So, sorry it's KINDA short/OOC. I just rushed this!**

 **PLEASE REVIEW**


	15. Songs, Pearphones & AM

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this, I rushed it as I wanted it to be updated so sorry for any OOC-ness! Hope you enjoy it.**

 **DICLAIMER: I do not own iCarly.**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Time: 10.00**_

 **Sam, can I listen to songs on 'your' Pearphone?**

Hell no!

 **Why?**

Go use you're own!

 **I would, but need I remind you that YOU have my Pearphone right now?**

Liar.

 **I saw you with my own eyes!**

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

 **SAM!**

...

 **I'm gonna go now because there might not be a possibility of you giving me my Pearphone back...**

Whatever.

 _ **One year later...**_

 _ **Time: 13.00**_

Whaddup Fredpuss?

 **Sam, could you please stop with the demining nicknames, I _am_ your bestfriend after all!**

Yeah...keep on telling yourself that.

 **SAM!**

Movin' on...wanna do a song off?

 **Don't you mean sing-off?**

Nope, song-off!

 **...What exactly is a song-off?**

We send random song lines to each other thinking that the other doesn't know it, and if they do and continue it you lose a point!

 **...I regret asking why.**

You gonna do it? Say yes, because you ain't getting away from Momma.

 **Okay, ladies first.**

So go first, Benson!

 **Sam! How many times do I have to tell you, it's not nice calling your bestfriend a lady!**

Whatever, go first.

 **Only because I'm a good sport.**

START!

 **OKAY! Darlin' don't be afraid,** **I have loved you for a t** **housand years...**

I'll love you for a thousand more...

 **What? How do you know that song?**

Jesus Benson, have you forgotten that Carly sings this song all the time in her house? Speaking of that she's singing it now...

 **Touché, your turn.**

But your just so freakin' full of it cause it's too late, to close your mouth...

 **So shut up and kiss me.**

HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT SONG?!

 **I should be asking you the same thing, Princess Puckett...**

Pfft, I asked first.

 **Fine, my mother kept on singing this after coming back from another Aggressive Parenting meeting from last week** **, whilst doing the Macarena.**

...asdasjdhajdskhahdjLOLmjjahdjasjkdhaROLFjahdjkashdjakhdkjhadHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

 **I know you're rolling around the grould laughing but where did _you_ find this song?**

My crazy mother sang this with the bartender.

Don't ask.

 **Wasn't going to...**

So, continue.

 **Tryin' to live without your love...**

...Is one long sleepless night

 **You know the song?**

No my monkey told me the lyrics- of course I know the song!

 **No need to be hurtful.**

Shut up nub.

 **Just continue with the game!**

Shot gun, aimed at my heart, you got one...

 **I have no idea. Look's like you have a point Sam!**

Cool, now do yours, queen of all dorks!

 **Demon.**

Dork.

 **Jerk.**

Nub.

 **Princess Puckett!**

Fredward Benson!

 **Mean person!**

Yeah, that was a rubbish comeback just like your face!

 **...**

Just do your turn!

 **FINE! Did I** **tell you I knew your name, because it seems that I lost it...**

Erm...monkey?

 **Nope, it was 'Did I tell you it's my own game, this is not your problem...'**

I swear, I heard that before.

 **Yeah...me too...**

 _ **One year later...**_

 _ **Time: 12.00**_

Why?

 **Why what?**

Why do you love me?

 **You're kidding, right?**

It's just that- you could have anyone else in this world that doesn't have that many edges and cuts in their life, why did you choose me?

 **To make this more sappier I will no quote various songs and mash them up together. Here goes.**

That's not funny, I'm asking you a serious question and you do some random chizz like this, why?!

 **Who said I was joking?** **Oh, your eyes, your eyes make the stars look like they're not shining; your hair, your hair falls perfectly without you trying; Your lips, your lips,** **I could kiss them all day if you'd let me; your laugh, your laugh y** **ou hate but I think it's so sexy;** **you're so beautiful** **and I tell you everyday...**

Bruno mars, really?

 **Don't ruin the moment. My head's under water** **but I'm breathing fine...y** **ou're crazy and I'm out of my mind.** **'Cause all of me l** **oves all of you... l** **oves your curves and all your edges... a** **ll your perfect imperfections.** **Give your all to me and** **I'll give my all to you... y** **ou're my end and my beginning, e** **ven when I lose I'm winning!** **'Cause I give you all of me a** **nd you give me all of you, oh oh.**

Now some other random artist?

 **Did I tell you I knew your name?**  
 **But it seems that I've lost it**  
 **Did I tell you it's my own game**  
 **This is not your problem**

 **I don't know if I'm gonna change**  
 **Wasting time and another day**

 **I keep running away**  
 **Even from the good things**

 **Did I tell you it's not that bad**  
 **Sitting over here dreaming**  
 **Did I tell you I'm right on track**  
 **This time I mean it**

 **I don't know if I'm gonna change**  
 **Wasting time and another day**

 **I keep running away**  
 **Even from the good things**

...

 **Sam?**

FREDDIE SAM'S GRINNING GENUINELY, WHAT DID YOU DO?!1?1?1?!1?1?1?1?1?1?1?11

 **1\. Seriously Carly, a question mark, then an exclamation mark and then all of a sudden a one appears? That's grammatically incorrect! 2. I just answered her question quoting song lyrics.**

WHAT SONGS?!

 **Can't you just look above?**

I WOULD but Sam deleted the text messages...

 **Why would she do that?**

Because she thinks your too much of a sap.

 **Wait, if she told you she thinks I'm too much of a sap why did you think I did something bad to Sam?**

Wait, she stopped. OMGSDJASHDKJAHSDJKAHDSJABDAJDF! SHE'S COMING TO KILL YOU FREDDIE FOR NO APPARENT REASON!

 **...So is it bad that I've already arranged tickets for Sam and I to the AM concert?**


	16. Movies, Bloody Mary & Mocking

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this, I rushed it as I wanted it to be updated and because my crazy mother was calling me. Sorry for any OOC-ness and be warned: there shall be some descriptive writing on the bottom because my mind gets distracted easily... ENJOY ;)**

 **For all of you guys wondering what movie they're watching, it's actually Cinderella but Sam and Freddie think otherwise...Secondly, I would like to thank everyone who had read this because it has just hit OVER 4000 views! Like WAY over 4000! You guys are AWESOME! I would also like to thank all my followers and favouriters for reading this and leaving nice reviews in it. I would thank you all on your own in the end of this fic (which hopefully won't be soon) because I don't want any new readers and reviewers to feel left out. Enough of me babbling, ON WITH THE STORY!**

 **DICLAIMER: I do not own iCarly.**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Time: 10.00**_

 **Sam, do you know about the tale of 'Bloody Mary'?**

Bloody who? Is she the chick that tried to take my chicken leg, because if she is then you can't prove anything!

 **No she's n- wait, what did you do?!**

Nothing you can prove...

 **Moving on from that awkward moment... how have you not heard of Bloody Mary?**

Pffft, I don't watch those chick flicks that much with Carly. Go bug her or do something about it with her, leave me alone!

 **But Sam, Carly's scared of 'da blody mary chick' thus she refuses to discuss this topic with me.**

Then go find someone who gives two f-

 **SAMANTHA PUCKETT, DON'T YOU DARE TYPE WHAT I THINK YOU'RE ABOUT TO TYPE!**

Jeez, when did you turn into my wife?

 **Sam, that's HIGHLY OFFENSIVE, I'm CLEARLY a GUY!**

Where's the proof?

 **Proof? You want proof?!**

Duh, that's what I just said. Don't tell me you've forgotten how to read now...

 **I haven't! Secondly, my voice is deep, I have facial hair and I'm not a transgender! Not to mention gay!**

Yeah, but you also don't have any leg hair, the strength of a jellyfish and you are too girly and prissy.

 **Sam!**

 _Sam!_

 **Don't mock me!**

Don't mock me!

 **Stop it!**

Stop it!

 **Sam, come on, please stop?**

Would that make you happy?

 **YES!**

Then no.

 **SAM!**

Jeez, what are you, my cat Frothy before it ran away with my hobo's cat?

 **Firstly, how the chizz does a hobo have a cat? And Sam! Why must you compare me to a cat?**

Because I hate you.

 **Demon.**

Dork.

 **Aggressive she-beast!**

Worthless nub.

 **Devil spawn!**

GREMLIN FACED RHINO!

 **...What? O.O**

I hate rhino's, gremlin's are ugly as chizz and I hate you.

 **Mean person. You know what, just for that I texted Rueben your class schedule!**

You did WHAT?!

 **...Nothing?**

You know what, just for that I just texted SHANNON your class timetable thingie!

 **It's called as schedule and SAM! WHY?!**

Because you texted Rueben of all people my class schedule, payback's a b-

 **SAM! Such foul words shall not be emanate into this chat.**

What will you do if I actually add swear words in this?

 **I will, erm, stop texting back with you!**

Yeah right, bastard!

 **Okay, that's enough! I shall now stop texting you!**

That's so stupid, telling me that you're gonna stop texting me.

 **...**

How the bloody hell is typing dots, ignoring me?

 **I dunno, I thought I had a 1% chance of you leaving me alone. Guess I was wrong. Secondly, O.O**

Whaddup with that face?

 **You sound like Ron Wesley from Harry Potter!**

Who? What? When? Where? Fried chicken company?

 **The last sentence is not a correctly formulated one, see you have to say- SAM! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!**

You were boring me.

 **You know what?**

Tell me what.

 **I'm leaving this chat, stat!**

One of the many reasons why you're hardly a guy...

 **And that is one of the reasons why you are hardly a girl...**

 **WHAT WAS THAT FOR?**

For insulting me.

 **Oh, so you can insult me and I can't insult you? HOW IS THAT FAIR?**

Momma doesn't play to get even, she plays to win.

 **But-**

WIN!

 **OKAY! Just don't hurt me...**

Pansy.

 **Mean person.**

You have no life.

 **You have no brain.**

Life is worse than a brain.

 **That doesn't even make sense!**

Your face doesn't make sense.

 **You know what, I'm leaving now.**

I'd say try ;)

 **What's up with that creepy smile directed to me?...You're scaring me.**

1\. That doesn't make you sound cool. 2. Good for you.

 **And?**

And WHAT?!

 **Are you not going to continue your list of examples?**

Why the bloody hell would I want to do that?

 **It's just because, most examples consist of 3 examples to prove their point- SAM!**

Shut up.

 **Okay.**

Okay?

 **Yeah, okay, because I feel that arguing with you will make my IQ points drop lower.**

Like you had any IQ points!

 **YOU KNOW WHAT PUCKETT?!**

WHAT BENSON?

 **I AM LEAVING THIS CHAT RIGHT NOW!**

NICE!

 **YEAH, BYE!**

I HATE YOU!

 **I HATE YOU TOO!**

 _ **Time: 16.00**_

 _ **Location: Shay Building**_

Jeez, I don't know what possessed Carly to make us watch TWILLIGHT of all things!

 **I agree, they are making people suffer by them watching it!**

Chizz, she's glaring at me for finishing all the popcorn. Oh, she's not anymore. KSADJASDJALKDJALKDSJASKDJAJSD

 **Sam?**

 **Sam?**

 **Are you okay?**

 **SAM SHOULD I CALL THE AMBULANCE?!**

 **SAM ANSWER FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!**

Calm your tits down Fredward, Carly just randomly started to cry because she was on Team Jacob or some blabbadash like that.

 **Blabbadash?**

Yeah, it's like thingiemajigie, but more talky.

 **Okay.**

GROSS! THEY'RE KISSING!

 **This is disgusting. Why are they making out with each other? They just met!**

I dunno, but if this happened to me in real life then I would kill that guy...unless he was a really good kisser and was HOT as chizz, then I'll marry him!

 **...**

What's got your antibacterial panties in a bunch, Benson?

 **Why would you marry a guy just based on his looks and kissing abilities?**

Because that's what everyone looks for these days.

 **And you AGREE with them?**

Sure, why so shocked Benson?

 **It's just that... I thought you were more unpredictable than that.**

Are you saying that I'm becoming a girly priss?

 **Well...**

FEEL MY WRATH!

 **SAM!**

Shut up nub, go scream about your injuries somewhere else. I'm eating this popcorn.

 ** _Ten minutes later..._**

 **You know...they say that the good guys are always the best kissers...**

Yeah, and the bad guys are always SMOKING HOT!

 **...Wanna try to prove my theory wrong?**

...

/-/

Freddie glared at Sam from where she slapped him, but then his eyes widened when he felt a soft pair of lips come onto his own. He returned the kiss by wrapping his arms around her waist whilst the blonde put her hands on his shoulders. They were too wrapped up into the kiss that they didn't hear Carly squeal a squeal that would probably have shattered their eardrums. Nor did they see her whip out her phone and take a picture of them kissing, putting the captions as _#SeddieMakingOut #IWinTheBet #Nevel &GibbyPayUp! _and then awkwardly remove herself from the room when she notices that they won't be stopping for a while. Who would want to deal with an angry Sam Puckett and a bewildered Fredward Benson when it's over? Well, that person would have to be Spencer because he had just walked into the room with a bag full of groceries. He opened the door, saw Sam and Freddie making out and then screamed loudly,

"WHY IS EVERYONE ALWAYS MAKING OUT IN _MY_ APARTMENT?!"


	17. Cockiness, Kisses & New Years Eve

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this, I rushed it as I wanted it to be updated and because my crazy mother was calling me. Sorry for any OOC-ness and be warned: there shall be some descriptive writing on the bottom but I couldn't lengthen it because I don't have anytime for that (AGAIN) so hope you enjoy what there is of it!**

 **DICLAIMER: I do not own iCarly.**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Time: 10.00**_

 **Sam, you know, instead of moaning and groaning about the project that Mr. Howard gave us to do you could actually, y'know, HELP ME!**

But helping requires effort, and we both know that I ain't have any ounce of effort in my bones.

 **Figures, Princess Puckett!**

What do you mean, figures?

 **I should've known that YOU, of all people, wouldn't help me because you can't do it!**

Where the chizz are you getting to Benson?

 **I'm saying that I am superior than you in this assignment! HA!**

Just for that, I'm gonna make sure you won't live until New Years!

 **SAM! Why?! And New Years Day is tomorrow!**

Because you said that you're better at something than me, and Momma ain't gonna have that. Now move over!

 **I'm afraid too...**

MOVE OVER OR I WILL MAKE YOU MOVE OVER MYSELF!

 **Okay! I'll move! No need to throw a chair at me...**

Just for that I'm shaving your hair.

 **SAM! My Mum would have a heart attack if you did that!**

And your point is?

 **Giving friend's mother's heart attacks is not nice, AT ALL!**

Who said I'm nice?

 **Oh yeah...**

And I'm not your friend.

 **But-but- I thought that...**

Well you thought wrong.

 **...**

 **Want a Fat Cake?**

Benson, I swear, if you poisoned that delicious product sent by angels I will murder you.

 **Sssh, just trust me!**

Trust, you? Please.

 **Sam!**

Fine, but if this kills me I'm so haunting the hell out of you as a ghost.

 **You already do that with your evil pranks and brain.**

Oh yeah, I do, don't I?

 **It's not something to be proud of!**

Says who?

 **Says me!**

Newsflash dork, I don't care what you think.

 **Ain't that the truth.**

No, just, no- just don't...

 **Don't what?**

Act like you're cool.

 **Why?**

Because you're offending the cool people in this world with your stupid and nerdy mind.

 **How can someone be stupid and nerdy at the same time?**

Your Mum.

 **Sam, I find that highly offensive! You know I hate those jokes!**

Jesus Christ, I was telling you to go ask your mother because God knows why she gave birth to you...

 **Sam, just because my mother's** **overprotective doesn't give you a right to insult her!**

Like I care what you think.

 **You know what?**

Tell me what.

 **I'm not texting you anymore!**

Instead of doing that why don't you just get the hell out of my life?

 **You know what? If you hate me so much and my existence, then I guess I should just fulfil your wish then!**

Maybe you should!

 _ **5 minutes later...**_

You can't possibly be gone.

...Freddork?

Jesus Christ Fredwina, text me back or I will make sure you will be in a mental asylum when you wake up!

Freddie, I swear, if you don't text me back then you will be the target of a murder tomorrow.

 **Nice to know you care Puckett.**

You BASTARD! How long were you there?

 **Like...five minutes or so and I'm glad I did this because now I know that you think of me as your friend :D**

What have you eaten for breakfast? A huge bowl of crazy flakes? Or did the chip inside your midget brain has finally malfunctioned?

 **What, no! Secondly, I know this because if you didn't care about me then you would've just given up by the second text because 'it requires effort' but you instead chose to worry over me which friends do to each other.  
**

I hate you.

 **I love you too.**

I hope you die in a fire.

 **If I did then I wouldn't see your pretty face anymore ;)**

I think you've officially gone crazy.

 **Crazy for you.**

Go trip down a well.

 **I'll pull you down with me.**

Then I'll strangle you with my bare hands.

 **That doesn't sound very fun.**

It might not be for you, but it'll be for me.

 **That's mean.**

Jeez, why the hell are you acting like the typical population of boys? Because the last time I checked you were a monkey.

 **I'm not a monkey! Wait...you like monkey's...which means you like me too!**

No I don't, I hate you.

 **It must be opposite day because I swear, I think you like me.**

I want you to die.

 **And I want you to be mine ;)**

That wink makes you seem like a pedo.

 **HEY! I'M NOT A PEDO!**

 _ **The next day...**_

 _ **Five minutes before the New Year**_

I still think you're a pedo.

 **Just because I'm one year older than you doesn't mean that I'm a pedophile! You don't see me growing a beard with yellow teeth!**

That would be a nice change than your ugly face because- wait did you just say that you like me?

 **What? No...**

Than why did you say that _'just because I'm one year older than you doesn't mean that I'm a pedophile! You don't see me growing a beard with yellow teeth!'_ which, from what Carls is telling me, is showing that you like me.

 **Well she's wrong- wait you show Carly our texts?**

Yeah, who doesn't show their best friend their texts?

 **Normal people.**

Well, lucky for you I'm not normal so yeah.

 **Anyways, I don't like you!**

YOU LIAR!

 **What? Sam, is there something wrong with your brain now?**

Nope, there isn't, because that was Carls from that text.

 **Oh. Did she tell you about...**

About what?

 **Nothing.**

Come on, tell me!

 **No, it's stupid.**

I'm used to stupid, I hang out with you, now speak up!

 **I was thinking that since the new year is coming...maybe I should start it on a good note with the girl I love.**

/-/

Sam rolled her eyes at the technical producer's last comment and buried her phone in the pocket of her sweatpants. She looked around for him and then found him against the wall, staring intensely at his phone as if it holds his existence of his life.

"Jesus Christ Benson, just when you were becoming tolerable for me you come to me with the 'I love Carly and hate you' thing again! Do you know how annoying that is for me?!" She bellowed into his face, rage and a hint of jealousy evident in her voice.

He looked at her with raised eyebrows. "I never said it was Carly."

 _3...2...1..._ He counted silently in his head while Sam was speaking about how he will never find a girl in his life and then plucked up the courage to place his lips on top of hers. She was frozen in place when she felt a familiar yet unfamiliar nubby lips that she had dreamt of kissing since she met him-God, she sounds like a girl sap now- but then got over the shock and wrapped her arms around his neck. In response, he wrapped his arms around her waist, ignoring the 'Aww's' that were coming from the crowd that had surrounded them. It was a long, passionate kiss that summed up their feelings for one another and then, suddenly, Sam pulled away with a big grin on her face.

"Who else could I have loved other than you?"


	18. Bets, New Feelings & Pini's

**A/N: #7DaysOfSeddieNiceness! :D So, this one Sam's being nice to Freddie for 7 days, see how it goes... and no, they're not gonna be dating or end with a kiss in this (unfortunately), but it'll show you some hints that Freddie is falling for Sam and vice versa, they just don't know that yet.**

 **DICLAIMER: I do not own iCarly.**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **After iReunite With Missy**_

 _ **Time: 13.00**_

 _ **Day: Monday**_

 _ **Location: Ridgeway, Cafeteria.**_

 **You eat like an animal.**

And you have no luck with the ladies.

 **At least I TRY to ask the girls that I like out, whilst you stay in the kitchen/Shay Household devouring all their food! Preferably their meat.**

It's better than getting rejected everytime I ask a guy out.

 **As I said before, at least I'm TRYING!**

Yeah, trying to set yourself up for humiliation.

 **What is it with you and insulting me?**

What is it with you and pretty brunettes in skirts?

 **Well, I happen to like pretty brunettes skirts very much, thank you!**

Then I happen to love insulting you.

 **You're just twisting my words.**

And you're killing my coolness with your life.

 **That doesn't make any sense.**

Neither does your face, but you don't hear me complaining about it!

 **Hypocrite! You ALWAYS complain about my face!**

LIAR!

 **HYPOCRITE!**

Justin Beiber!

 **Miley Cyrus!**

Nub-nub!

 **It's 'nug-nug', Sam.**

Aah, shut up nigga.

 **SAM! That is a highly offensive term, and a very rude one too!**

So?

 **So you should apologise!**

What are you, my wife?

 **What are you, a lady?**

What are you, a man?

 **What are you, a... banana?**

Ha, very nice comeback Fredwart, you should get a medal for that!

 **I don't appreciate your sarcasm.**

And I don't appreciate your life.

 **I propose a bet.**

God, it hurts.

 **What hurts?**

The dorkiness and nerdiness coming from you.

 **Hey!**

Just get on with it!

 **Okay! NO NEED TO THROW A CHAIR AT ME!**

GET THE CHIZZ ON WITH THE DARE!

 **I bet that you can't be nice to me, AND act like a proper posh lady-like manner towards me for a whole week.**

...

What's in it for me?

 **The fact that you will win against me for something?**

T_T

 **OWWW! SAM! I was just joking!**

Pfft.

 **Fine, you can, erm...break into my house anytime for bacon.**

Your crazy mother allows you to eat meat?

 **No, I snuck the meat in.**

Sneaking bacon inside the house, against your mother's permission? That isn't the Freddie Benson way!

 **No need for your sarcastic comments and dramatic gasps, it's not that big of a deal.**

Yeah, it isn't for any normal person but for you it is. Because you're a nerdy goody-two-shoes.

 **You know what, I don't want to waste my time arguing with you!**

Good, because I don't want to waste my life arguing with YOU!

 **GOOD!**

GOOD!

 **FINE!**

FINE!

 **THE BET STARTS TOMORROW!**

THEN YOU SHALL PACK A GRAVE!

 **WHY?**

BECUASE WHEN I'M DONE WITH THE BET, I'M COMING FOR YOU!

 **I HATE YOU!**

I HATE YOU MORE!

 _ **Next day... (Tuesday)**_

 _ **Time: 16.00**_

 **Hello, Samantha, how are you feeling today? I am feeling very jubilant on this fine evening.**

Why, I absolutely adore the fact that you openly expressed and rubbed in the fact that you are smarter than me, in school wise.

 **Well, I am not much of a gloater, but I have had a certain urge to prove my superiority towards you.**

...That is very nice...Freddie.

 **Do you want to go to the GALAXY WARS convention with me tomorrow as you are the only person that I can go with, well close to something. I was gonna ask my future wife, Carly, but she had to go skirt shopping. Probably one of these days she'll wake up and realise that she should be with me!**

Aww, I would've loved to go to the convention but I have already told Spencer that I'm going to help him with a sculpture, so can you please go ask someone else about this said convention. Aw, shucks, guess you'll have to go alone then.

 **I'm sure Spencer can reschedule the date.**

No, he can't as I am only free on the day when you go to the ner-nice convention. Jesus, what the chizz happened to my back/delete button?!

 **I broke it so you can't cheat :D**

Why you little- person, I feel very sad for your mother as she is possibly weeping now for you having no leg hair. I hope in the future that you will gain loads of leg hair and your mother won't be saddened by the fact that you don't have any now.

Sorry, friend, but I have to go now as my mother is begging me to get the cat a job. I shall be back soon.

 **Nice save Puckett, but it's only one day. There's a lot more to come... MWHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAH...ouch.**

 **How the heck does Carly pull of the evil laugh with her mesmerising bl-brown eyes and bl-brown hair?**

 **Only God knows...**

 _ **Day 2 (Wednesday)**_

 _ **Time: 10.00**_

 **Do you want to kiss me, mistress Samantha?**

W- Could you not call me by my full name please, it infuriates me by very means. Secondly, I would love to kiss you, but I've had a new contagious disease called (which I have shortened) Flabadoodleriniadinobloures and it will activate if you kiss me or vice versa. Sorry!

 **What will happen if I didn't, _Samantha?_ **

I shan't say the consequences as they are too graphic and violent for your childish mind, therefore it will permanently scar you and make you want to move to Afghanistan. However, when this bet that we have agreed to do, I shall pursue you like a cat would do to a mouse.

 **So...should I run later?**

Probably.

 _ **Day 3 (Thursday)**_

 _ **Time: 14.00**_

 **Hey Sam, my Mum's away at the aggressive parenting convention, and she's calling me every hour as she's worried that all the utensils in my house will try to kill me.**

How can you die from ordinary household utensils?

 **Well, my Mum said that** **the fork could stab my tongue, the vacuum cleaner could suck me up and then rip up my internal organs, the kife could slip out of my hand and then slit my throat...**

Wait you have a _knife_ at your home?

 **Plastic knife. Covered with bubble wrap. The size of a Vaseline tub.**

Oh, look at the time, I have to now go bathe my cat Frothy in the shower!

 **How can you bathe someone in a shower? Shouldn't you bathe someone in a bathtub?**

Look, Benson, I don't need- your adorable know-it-all comments that make me go all gaga, like Lady Gaga.

 **This is going to be a fun week :D**

Please stop.

 **Why?**

I detest smiley faces.

 **Really? Well then...**

 **;)**

 **:D**

 **:)**

 **:P**

 **^.^**

I'm gone now.

 **That's scientifically impossible!**

 _ **Day 4 (Friday)**_

 _ **Time: 1.00 (Night)**_

 **Sam, are you awake?**

Well, I was awake Freddie but then your text message interrupted my beauty sleep so- yes, I am awake right now.

 **You? Have beauty sleep? What's next, Gibby wearing a dress to school? Wait a minute...**

You just admitted that I need beauty sleep.

 **What? No.**

Okay, now why did you text me?

 **No reason, except for the fact that I was up all night thinking of how I can make Carly, Carly Benson.**

Carly will never love you!...But I do adore the fact that you keep on trying on something that is close to non-existent, and if it makes you happy then maybe in the future she'll love you. Even though I highly doubt that she would.

 **Drat, I thought I had you for a second.**

You almost did.

 ** _Day 5 (Saturday)_**

 _ **Time: 12.00**_

 **Sam, I just asked the girl from Science class, Amy, out and she said yes. What's your thoughts on this?**

I think she's crazy...in love with you!

 **Why thank you, and may I say that you look very _girly_ today, _Samantha_.**

...

And you look absolutely _adorable, Fredward._

 **Ha! You just broke the bet!**

Nope, I didn't as it is the truth, you do look fine today.

 **Really?**

...

 **...**

I'm leaving now.

 **Me too.**

 _ **Day 6 (Sunday)**_

I just got run over by a truck.

 **What? Why? Sam, are you hurt? Where are you? Why aren't you calling the ambulance?! CALL THE AMBULANCE!**

Why should I?

 **Because you just got run over by a truck!**

So, I'll respawn in a few seconds.

 **Oh...you're talking about your game...I thought...okay...**

What else would I be talking about other than 'Revenge Of The HoboSquidEllifish The Sequel To The Last Seven Sequels That Nobody Really Cares About'?

 **Dunno...you know Sam... my Mum's scheduling an appointment with the doctor because she wants to know why I haven't developed any leg hair yet. After that she's going to make sure I wear a hockey mask on my face while wearing padding underneath my clothes...**

Why?

 **Because she's afraid that too much sun will melt me into a pool of water.**

...

Kill me. Now. Please.

 **Nah, I don't think I would like to.**

...

1 more day, just one more day and you shall pay Benson...until then, have fun doing what awkward, nerdy and uncool teenage boys do!

 **That's not nice!**

Yes it is.

 _ **Day 7 (Monday)**_

 _ **Time: 12.56**_

 **What's gotten you so happy?**

Today's the last day of the bet, HOORA! Secondly, may I tell you that you look very _exquisite_ right now Fredward.

 **And you look very _purdy_ Samantha... **

Why thank you.

 **...**

Why are you staring at me like that?

 **You're blushing.**

No, I just had some barbecue sauce on my face.

 **What? EWWW! Why did you ask me to t** **ouch it then!**

I thought it would aggravate you. :D

 **Texting smiley faces don't make it any better!**

:D

 **Lewbert just kicked you out. Along with me.**

Thanks for that Catherine Obvious.

 **Catherine Obvious? It's 'Captain Obvious'.**

I know, but if I said Captain Obvious then you'll think I'm insulting you!

 **Well, you are!**

Yeah, but now I can do it in a subtle way!

 **What's that beeping noise? And why are you dancing around the place now?**

Because now the bet is over, take that Fredlame! I survived being nice to you for a week! Now you shall PAY!

 **Wait, WAIT! What if I give you a treat so you don't kill me?**

I'm listening..

 **Good, you put that baseball bat down. Now, what if I took you to the new Italian restaurant that just opened up for the rest of this week so you don't kill me!**

Pini's?

 **That's the one.**

Make it the rest of this month.

 **Okay. Sam, why are you grabbing my hand?**

When I said the rest of this week, I meant this damn day Benson!

 **Wait, I need to fetch my wallet!**

Or we could run away when the waiter asks us for the money?

 **Sam...**


	19. Teddy Bears, Corrections & Caps Lock

**A/N: Crap, I'm sorry if this is rubbish, I really didn't know what the hell to do for this! I hope this is good for all your readers out there!**

 **DICLAIMER: I do not own iCarly.**

Le Sam

 **Le Freddie**

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Time: 13.00**_

I'm bored.

 **Hi I'm bored, my names Freddie!**

Pfft, not funny dork.

 **Shut up, I thought it was funny.**

Exactly my point.

 **Demon.**

Dork.

 **Jerk.**

Nub.

 **...Mean person.**

Pathetic comeback, Frederica.

 **Do you take time in organising these nicknames, or do you just say whats on you mind?**

Don't know, don't care.

 **Then you wouldn't back down from what I'm about to propose to you, right.**

Depends, what're you gonna do?

 **Can you name 5 insulting nicknames towards me, in just a minute?**

A minute, seriously, a minute?

 **What? You want some more time, Princess Puckett?**

No, just thought you would've given me a smaller time.

 **Do you want a smaller time?**

Dunno, don't care.

 **But, you just said...**

Hey, Freddork?

 **Yeah?**

Shut the eff up.

 **...So you'll do the challenge?**

It's not a challenge if its not hard.

 **Then why are you stalling?**

I'm not stalling!

 **Then do the bet!**

Fine!

 **Fine!**

Good!

 **Good!**

 **Your time starts now!**

One minute?!

 **One minute!**

OKAY!

 **...GO!**

Fredlame.

Fredenstien.

Frederina.

Fredloser.

Frednerd.

 **Wow!**

Wow, what?

 **The fact that it hasn't been even 10 seconds yet,** **and you've come up with 5 insulting nicknames!**

Yeah, yeah. It's one of my many talents.

 **Besides sleeping and eating an impossible amount of food and not gaining any waight.**

Yeah.

 **Yeah.**

I'm going now.

 **Yeah...**

 _ **Time: 16.00**_

I'M BORED!

 **Sam, we've gone through this many times and you still don't get it: when you're bored, you can't do bad things to satisfy your needs**!

Well, Alberta Einstein, what I can do then?

 **Firstly Sam, it's ALBERT Einstein, secondly, do stuff that normal people do!**

Like...?

 **Well-**

Whoops, don't care!

 **Well, if you didn't care so much then why did you text me?!**

Because I need something boring enough for me to go to sleep with my mind on it, duh!

 **I'm going to act like I'm not offended for your reply towards me. Secondly, who sleeps at 4 Sam?! You just came back from school!**

Yeah, that was a whole TEN minutes of energy. I dunno how the hell everyone works all the time, it's so frustrating!

 **Wow, just... wow.**

What is it _now_ Freddumb?

 **The fact that you lasted 10 minutes without dying.**

Dude, just, no. You're not funny. At ALL. Leave it to the stars of the show that actually _have_ humour!

 **That's offensive!**

It can't be that offensive if it's true...

 **You're making me sad.**

Whatever. Go cry about it in a ditch or in the lap of your mother.

 **THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN!**

Prove it.

 **Because I'm a _man_ right now.**

...

 **You're going to break a rib if you continue laughing like that, or possibly have a heart attack. The latter one sounds more suitable for this.**

Sorry not sorry, and seriously, you? A man? Even Carly's a bigger man than you, and she's a girly queen bee!

 **Just when I thought that you couldn't hurt my ego even more...**

You? Have an _ego_? Yeah, right. The only ego you have is the ego to drive girls away...

 **If that's so, then why haven't you and Carly left yet?**

Because Carls feels pity for you, and since I'm her best friend, I have to endure the pain I get whenever I see your ugly face everyday.

 **You know, you could just easily wear a blindfold.**

Pfft, that requires effort, Fredington.

 **So does typing grammatically to others, Sam.**

Are you trying to sass me, Benson?!

 **What? NO! I was just stating a mere fact!**

Well, here's a fact for you Benson: I don't like you.

 **Like I didn't know that.**

And no girl would ever want you.

 **That part, no so true.**

Oh really, why so? (This is how you speak, nub. I'm mocking you...)

 **Because I have a date with a really pretty girl, on February 30th!**

Freddumb...

 **What?**

FEBRUARY 30TH DOESN'T EXIST, YOU DIM WIT!

 **Wait, I got the date wrong. It's actually March the 30th.**

Nice try, Benson to save your non existent date.

 **IT'S TRUE!**

Then show me a picture of that girl.

 **Here. Click on this link -}**

Fredward, has the weird chip that your mother put in your brain finally kill some brain cells?

 **Sam! That doesn't make sense! Secondly, why?**

You think I care if this doesn't make sense? And that thing you think is an arrow, is actually an Asian guy looking side wards at someone they don't like. Or it kinda looks like me seeing your face all the time...

 **THAT'S RACIST!**

I JUST SAID THAT, THAT MIGHT LOOK LIKE ME!

 **YEAH, BUT YOUR FIRST PART OF THE SENTENCE IS RACIST!**

DO YOU THINK I CARE?!

 **NO!**

GOOD!

 **GOOD!**

FINE!

 **FINE!**

I'M LEAVING DRAMATICALLY NOW!

 **ME TOO!**

 _ **Time: 12.00**_

I'm bored.

 **Wow, this is like the third time you have texted me today, with that as your beginning text.**

Jeez, you savour our texts? That's just pathetic.

 **What? Do not!**

Sure.

 **So, what did you want to talk about?**

Nothing.

 **Really?**

Yeah, why?

 **Because you never usually text me this late at night...**

This is late for you? What, now you're gonna tell me that your bed time is 9.30!

 **...**

Oh God, it isn't it?

 **Maybe...**

Just when I thought your mother wasn't a loon anymore...

 **I don't appreciate your sarcasm Puckett!**

And I don't appreciate your face, Benson!

/-/

After Sam had sent that last text to Freddie, she threw her phone across the room and it miraculously landed on the couch right next to the door. She snuggled into the covers, and turned her head to face the teddy bear on her nightstand and gazed at the picture in it. Freddie had spiked up hair, some ripped jeans on and wore a black leather jacket with a blue shirt underneath, giving the peace sign out at the camera man with a goofy grin on his face. Whilst she had her hair straightened, and wore a blue jean jacket, she wore a red top underneath with a matching red skirt, claiming that she hated pink, she had a small smile playing on her lips. This is because, they both had lost bets with other people, and had to behave like their alter-egos, and thus came Fred and Samantha.

Purple was always a nice colour, and it was nicer in the dark to be enjoyed by many others.


	20. Birthday's, Eddie & OSD

**A/N: It's been like a month since I last updated, and I sincerely apologise for that! I was stuck on writer's block for this, and when I did have inspiration, it was like at the middle of the night and I would fall asleep and forget about it the next day. Plus, I procrastinate too much, one of my many flaws :/**

 **But here it is, hopefully not too crappy!**

 **Le Freddie**

 _ **Le Carly**_

 **-iText-**

* * *

 _ **Time: 13.00**_

 **Hey, princess Puckett! :D**

Aww, did you finally learn how to use the smiley face symbol?

 **What? NO!**

Pfft.

 **...Maybe...**

I KNEW IT!

 **Sam, don't rub it in my face that you knew about all of this before me.**

Since when did I give a chizz about what you thought?

 **Errr...**

Exactamando.

 **That's not a real word.**

You think I care?

 **That's not proper grammar!... And no, I don't think you care.**

Then why do you bother?

 **BECAUSE... I have no idea. Why do I bother?**

O.o

 **O.o**

0-0

 **O-O**

X-X

 **Why did you use that symbol?**

Because I died, when I saw your face.

 **HEY! That's offensive, and mean, and I don't think you really care...**

First thing you've gotten right since you were born, Benson.

 **That's... very true.**

Mmm-hmm.

 **So...**

So...

 **How are you doing?**

Better, now that I can't see your face.

 **That hurts me.**

Good, I like it when you're sad.

 **That's mean.**

And?

 **Err...**

Yeah, err.

 ** _Day after_**

 ** _Time: 11.00_**

Whaddup Benson.

 **Hey Puckett, what's gotten you in such a good mood today?**

Heh, as if you don't know why.

 **I really don't.**

I'm not as gullible as you Benson.

 **Seriously, why?**

You mean- you actually don't know?

 **What don't I know!**

Forget it.

 ** _Time: 13.00_**

 ** _Why are you so sad? -Carly_**

What makes you think I'm sad?

 _ **Because you're all pouty and whatnot. -Carly.**_

Firstly, I'm not pouty and whatever, and why the heck are you writing your name after your texts? I know it's you. It's not really cool. Like at all.

 _ **Yeah, but, my new boyfriend called Jacob... is well... yeah, it's not cool.**_

Told ya.

 ** _And, stop denying it! It's your birthday and when you left my house you were all smily but now you're all pouty!_**

Am not.

 _ **Are too.**_

Jeez, you sound like Benson, stop it please.

 ** _Oh my God._**

What?

 _ **You just said please to me, well not said but close enough! You never say that unless it means something it to you! What happened with Freddie, Sam?**_

Nothing.

 _ **Samantha August Puckett.**_

Carlotta Jamie Shay.

 _ **Don't say my second name!**_

WELL DON'T USE MY FULL NAME THEN!

 _ **...**_

I'm sorry.

 _ **Even though you haven't apologised to me directly, as it would be really hard for you too, I accept it. But since I've accepted it, you have to tell me what's going on with you and Freddie that made you so sad.**_

No.

 ** _Sam, don't make me call the bacon company again and tell them to never give you bacon again._**

You wouldn't dare...

 _ **I have the telephone right next to me...**_

Carlotta!

 _ **0768...**_

Watch it, Shay...

 _ **376...**_

I'm warning you..

 _ **489...**_

Carlotta Shay.

 _ **Just one more digit to go Sam, how about you tell me now?**_

...

 _ **Okay, I guess you don't want-**_

The dork didn't remember my birthday... I thought we were friends. Kinda.

 ** _Sam, that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you._**

Well what does it mean?!

 _ **Erm.. that he has horrible memory problems?**_

Forget it, I'm leaving here.

 _ **Sam! No!**_

 _ **At least wear a coat!**_

 _ **Thank you!**_

 _ **Time: 13.10**_

 _ **O-B-S to Eddie, I repeat, O-B-S to Eddie.**_

 **I take it that Sam has left the building?**

 _ **Yep, now to proceed with the plan that you haven't told me about!**_

 **I have...**

 _ **When?**_

 **Today. A few minutes ago. Via email.**

 _ **Who uses via anymore?**_

 **CARLY!**

 _ **Fine, I'll check my email and holy cow!**_

 **What? What happened? Is Sam coming back now? Answer me!**

 _ **No, I just found out that Vinnie told Ashley who told Jamie who told Jaqueline who told Brock who told Natse that Vicarage likes her!**_

 **... Why do none of your friends have normal names?**

 _ **FREDDIE! Brock is not my friend, Vinnie is my step-cousin, Ashley is my-**_

 **You know what, I don't wanna know.**

 _ **Okay.**_

 **Secondly, why did you nickname me 'Eddie' and yourself OSB? It sounds weird.**

 _ **Not for long...**_

 **Huh?**

 _ **Just get the world's fattest priest down here!**_

 **I'm so confused.**

 _ **Time: 20.00**_

Thanks.

 **For what has this miracle been drawn towards me?**

Don't make me regret saying it.

 **I'm just kidding, and no sweat, your welcome.**

What should we do now?

 **Err...**

 _ **Well, you could kiss already and let all the Creddie shippers go get a job at inside out burger!**_

 **Huh?**

What?

 _ **They said that you guys wouldn't last a month, and I know you two hate assumptions.**_

Well, Benson, want to prove the nimrods wrong?

 **I'd be delighted to.**

/-/

With that, Freddie dipped Sam into wedding style kiss, as she wrapped her petite arms around his neck, smiling into the kiss. Neither of them questioned how in the world Carly came into their private chat, for the two of them but frankly neither of them cared, they had each other after years of longing and heartache.

"Looks like the Creddie shippers are gonna go on a rampage..." Carly mused aloud, smiling at them still kissing passionately with each other.


End file.
